Anya's P.O.V.
The next morning I felt as light as a feather. I knew that soon the uncertainty about the future would settle in again but I was determined to give myself at least one day to just relax.
Unfortunately that hadn't been the will of the fates or whatever you wanted to call i
A knock on the door disturbed the peace. Julian let a short, stocky man in and led him through to the living room.
"I want everybody present for this. Even you Anya dearest." I froze. He knew about me, the day that Julian and I had both dreaded had arrived.The Boss stood with his back to the door facing Julian, he had a sadistic sneer on his face and Julian faced the Boss with a silent determination. I knew I should have been scared but from where I was standing, a few paces behind Julian surrounded by the rest of the guys, I felt untouchable and I knew it had everything to do with the man facing off the Boss. The Boss was prowling around Julian like a predator stalking it's prey.
"Two failures. You messed up the first job by almost getting caught because of your new lapdog. Then you lost the documents to the police. And to top it all off you brought in an outsider." The Boss narraratesd in a bone chilling calm voice.
"Yes."
"You know when a little birdy told me this yesterday, I wanted to shoot the whole lot of you," the Boss's eyes roamed over our group backing Julian, for the first time the Boss was able to get a reaction out of Julian, his body stiffened and I felt the overwhelming urge to comfort him, to crawl in under his arm and pull him tight against me, but a big hand on my shoulder held me back. I looked over my shoulder to see Dexter looking at me with an intense stare and shook his head at me in such a small gesture I had almost missed it, "but then Dexter was so kind to plead your case and he made a very compelling argument," the Boss stopped and leaned in close, whispering just loud enough for us to hear,"you want to know what we came up with?"
"Yes."
"He suggested that maybe it is not wise to dispose of the entire team because the failures may be due to its leadership. What do you think?"
I looked over my shoulder again. It was strange that Dexter had done something like that but for some reason, not hard to believe.
"I think he was right, the team has nothing to do with it they were just following orders."
I had this sick feeling that Julian had failed to mention who's orders they had been following on purpose. I had made the plans, it had been my fault for not doing sufficient research and trusting Nicolette.
"Which means that you have no purpose. And you know what the Orginization does to dead weight," For the first time since this stand off had started I felt fear for Julian and it was growing by the second, morphing into terror. Dexter's grip on my shoulder tightened and I made the mistake of taking my eyes off Julian and the Boss for only a second.The click of a gun's safety made me snap my head back. A shot rang out. My heart stopped, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut and I wanted to scream, but there was no air in my lungs. The Boss did not even wait for Julian's body to hit the ground before exiting the house. I stood frozen on the spot unable to move as Julian's body crumpled to the ground.
I kicked my way out of Dexter's iron grip and sank down on my knees next to Julian's body. The pain was comparable to someone plunging a knife into my heart and twisting it around. I turned him around and clutched him to my chest rocking back and forth. This can't be, bring him back. Bring back my Julian.
"No, no, no, no. Please come back to me. Don't leave me. Please." I mumbled through tears of anguish. I let out a scream in hopes that it would dull this clenching pain on my heart. I pressed my forehead to his, feeling the sticky blood on my skin and not caring. I could no longer smell that musky scent of a forest after rain, only the metallic smell of blood. I couldn't help but feel that this had been all my fault, if I had just left when I had the chance, if I had never gone to that blasted shop. Julian would still be alive.I had wanted to spend the rest of my days with this man. Strange how I only now realized that I loved every inch of him, every quirk and mood, but this cruel live had snatched him away from me and I could do nothing to stop it.
"I never got the chance to tell you that you were going to be a father," I sobbed, the taste of salty tears and metallic blood making me gag but I held it back,"You'd have made a great farther." A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, thinking of Julian holding our child, but it was quickly replaced by the crushing realization that he would never be able to hold his child. That I would have to raise the child alone. Would I hate her or him for reminding me of his or her father? Will I have to give him or her up for adoption? I don't think I'd be able to.
I sat there with Julian tightly pressed against my chest, whaling and sobbing. Feeling like someone was methodically crushing me. My breath came out in rasps. Until Kevin sat down next to me, gently prying my hands off of Julian's lifeless body. Once my hands were free I latched on to Kevin and started sobbing again. He gently rubbed my back and I could feel moisture on my shoulder.
"We could have prevented this." I croaked suddenly feeling like I hadn't slept in a week.
"No, we couldn't." Kevin sniffed.
I loosened myself from Kevin and looked at his equally tear stained face.
"I'm going to bed now."
I got up on wobbly legs and stumbled to my room. The clock said it was 13: 34, almost three hours after the Boss had arrived. I crumple onto the bed, bundling up the sheets against my chest. I felt numb as I inhaled his scent, tears again leaking from my eyes.I drifted off into the abyss. Too exhausted to dream, instead I was trapped in an endless, inescapable darkness.
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