Chapter 18: Denial

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I glanced up at the clock again, two minutes.
I scanned the papers and scribbled in a few places, hoping I hadn't done too badly.
"Time's up! Pencils down." Our teacher instructed.
As soon as the bell went, I was out of the classroom, heading straight to the lockers and, with my bag over my shoulder I made a bee-line for the carpark. "Hey! Lexie, wait up!" Jess's worried tone called from behind me, making me turn and wait for her to catch up.
"What's the rush?" She asked, furrowing her perfect eyebrows in concern.
"Fine... just gotta... get something..." I state awkwardly. I am such a bad liar.
"You're a shit liar." She states my exact thought. "Oh well, just please don't back out of tonight!"
"No way, definitely coming." I smile, I needed this time to loosen up as much as she did. She hugged me tight in excitement, I returned the hug and watched her skip away, giggling when the thought of a 5 year old girl skipping away entered my mind and I noticed the similarities. I shook my head and quickly walked the rest of the way to my car.
Jumping in my car, I dump my heavy bag beside me in the passenger seat, strapping myself in.
I turn on my car and take off down the drive way, tapping my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as I avoided hitting kids walking aimlessly all over the place.
Once clear of the school kids I sped up, pretty sure I was going over the speed limit by at least 20km.
(Around 12miles)
As I approach the strip of local shops my stomach flips.
At least you're not throwing up.

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This morning...

My eyes flutter open, and flick to my bedside clock which reads; 5:18am.
What? Are you kidding?
I let out a groan and shift my body to the side, rolling from my back onto my stomach.
I suddenly realise the reason I woke up so early.
I throw my legs out of bed and haul my body along as I race to the toilet, a hand on my stomach and the other over my mouth.
As soon as I reach it I kneel quickly and grib the seat as the contents of my stomach make a reappearance in the toilet bowl.
When I feel like I have thrown up all I need and am able to, I wipe my mouth with some toilet paper and throw it into the bowl before I flush it away.
I must have a bug or a virus or something...
I think to myself as I wash my hands and have a drink from the tap.
Unless...
I freeze with my pyjama shirt wiping the water droplets from my lips.
No...
My feet carry me to where my phone sits on charge beside my bed, I type in my password and press on my calender, scanning the days, weeks, months.
It's been two months since we had sex, a month since I had seen Ace at the shops with the gang. I had been so caught up in exams and school I must not have noticed that I had missed my period twice...
No way...
I rushed back to the bathroom, I located the pills I kept forgetting to take, birth control.
Shit.
I looked up into the mirror.
My eyes flickered down to my stomach, I hesitantly turned on my side and lifted my night shirt, revealing the smooth skin underneath.
There was no difference, I threw my shirt back over my skin, retreating from the mirror until my back pressed against the wall.
"I'm not... I'm not pregnant..." I whispered fiercely to myself.
I believed it.
I'm not pregnant.
There was only one way I would know for sure, I would have to get a home test from the shops, tomorrow after school I decided.
I wasn't usually a secretive person, I told Jess pretty much everything down to what Ace texts me, she insists to hear all the details. My mind suddenly remember the party I said I would go to, Jess and Davina had roped me into this and Mum said she didn't want me driving so she would drive me there and back. Couldn't I just cancel? Shit... I have at least one exam tomorrow...
My mind whirled from one thought to the next, ultimately landing on Ace...
He hadn't returned any texts or calls, I had shed tears and Jess had been there for me every step of the way, she was the most loyal and caring best friend I could ask ever ask for.
I am not pregnant. I tell myself once more, staring hard into my blue eyes which I could see in the mirror opposite me, though shadowed by the night. I leave the bathroom and trapes back to my room, flopping onto the bed and tugging the covers over my body, shielding it from the cold early morning Australian air.
I gulp as the thought that kept threatening to be true resurfaced, what if you're pregnant?

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The present...

I spin the steering wheel abruptly, swinging my blue Subaru Forester into a park outside the local butcher, I jerk the stubborn key out of the ignition and hesitate, my hand hovering over the door handle. I sigh and get out of the car, locking it behind me.
I hear the tap of my shoe on the path as I approach the shop I was looking for.
The door swings open when I push on it and embarrassment makes me squirm as I stop in front of the pregnancy tests, I grab one which is reasonably priced and approach the counter, keeping my head down I try not to make eye contact, the woman behind the counter is a middle aged woman with a thick layer of makeup plastered to her face, she raises her eyebrow at me which is already dangerously high, it almost disappears into her obviously dyed blonde hair.
She scans it quickly and mutters the price, I force a smile onto my face and hand her a few notes. I watch her pick up the box and drop it into a bag like it was something disgusting, handing me the bag and the change, then she fixed the fakest of fake smiles to her made up, judgmental face and seemed to force out the words, "Have a nice day..."
I practically snatched the things off her and turned on my heel to leave, shoving the door open and striding down the street, how could she be so rude, that bitch.
I didn't even know her and yet the way she had looked at me and acted made my blood boil in anger, fucking bitch.
I got in my car and dumped the bag beside me, I subconsciously turned on the engine and backed out of my parking spot.
I drove out of the car park and had a feeling of emptiness as the car pulled down side streets and wound through the town, turning into my court, my eyes focusing on my house at the end.
Mum's Mazda was parked, asleep, outside the house meaning that Mum was home from work.
When I opened the door I made straight for the bathroom, waving to Mum and pecking her on the cheek, I drop my school bag on a chair before wandering casually to the bathroom. I dig the test out of my pocket, placing it beside the sink and strip to take a shower.
Once I am changed into the clothes I plan on wearing to the party, I take the test to the toilet and follow the brief instructions printed in tiny font on a little leaflet that is tucked in the box with the three tests.

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If you need a recap on what happens before the next chapter, go back to chapter one and read the first part. Plz keep in mind I started this book months ago it is really bad, and I had no clue what I was doing w my plot so it might not make much sense but you get the point... and sorry this one was so short it was mostly just a filler chapter...
Thx so much for reading, I'm really excited to write the next chapters for you guys! Theyre gonna be a good ones! ❤️❤️❤️

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