The Not So Good Girl

Chapter 24: Bleeding out

I couldn't help it. I had to see him again, I felt like we needed to finish what we had started in that hospital room as well as sorting out this whole... situation. It had been a week since I was finally discharged after a week-and-a-half in hospital, Mum insisted that I rest up but everyday I just get more and more restless. The morning-sickness wasn't so bad now, it was still happening but it had eased off a lot lately. Mum had said since I was at the end of the first trimester that it should end soon, thank fuck. Some days in the beginning I was sick all day or even just at night, one thing was for sure, I couldn't wait until it ended. I pulled on a pair of jeans still thankful that I could wear them due to my belly not growing too much, in fact my Mum was worried that I hadn't grown more so she signed me up for more ultrasounds than I already had because of the stabbing.
I scoop my phone up off the nightstand and locate Ace's number in the messages, it takes a few seconds before I send a text I'm happy with, Hey Ace, don't want to freak you out but I have an ultrasound appointment at 10am, if you want to come...
I finish getting dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and a puffer jacket, we had bought a lot of clothes that would hide my... pregnantness... for the next few months, until it was too obvious.
The second I feel a vibration from my phone I grab it from my pocket, expecting to see Ace's name lighting up the screen but instead I am disappointed with a text from my Mum asking if I was getting ready for my appointment and if she needed to leave work to drive me. I rolled my eyes, she was so overprotective, then I laugh to myself, remembering that I was pregnant and got stabbed, no wonder she was all of a sudden acting as if I was a fragile 10 year old. I type a quick reply of 'I'm walking out of the house now, I can drive.' Before I do just that, I lock the door behind me and feel my phone buzz just as I'm about to put it in my bag.
A text from Ace reads: Where is the clinic?
I can't help the smile and the leap of joy that elevated my spirits by about 1000%, I gave him the address and put my phone in my bag.

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I lay down on the cool, soft material of the ultrasound bed, resting my head on the plastic covered head rest and placing my feet on a sheet of plastic at the end of the ultrasound bed. The woman who was performing today's ultrasound was one I had never had before. She had a kind face, short brown hair tied in a little ponytail and a pair of pale green eyes that scanned me from head to toe, her eyes roaming on my ringless left hand. Oh c'mon lady, it's 2018 for fuck's sake.
"Someone knows the drill." She says with a smile, though I can see she is silently judging me. Man she is either really bad at hiding it or she's just a total bitch. Oops, raging hormones...
"Yeah, I've been to way too many of these things." I comment, my eyes keep flitting to where my phone sat on my bag in a chair beside the door.
Where is he?
"Just you today?" She asks, probably noticing my anxiousness.
I hesitate. My phone screen remains black and the door remains closed.
"Yeah, just me." I answer.

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I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, my mind undecided on what I wanted to do, go home and rest, or find Ace. The choice was obvious that I shouldn't go and find Ace, the doctor, my Mum and the ultrasound woman all told me to rest. How the hell was I supposed to 'rest' when the thought of Ace being hurt made me feel sick, although that could just be morning sickness. I leaned forward, putting my head on the steering wheel between my hands, and letting out a massive sigh.
Should I be this sad? Why am I not mad at him? I just... miss him.
I groaned and leaned back in the car seat, staring up at the ceiling, I am 18, missing a gang-member who is the father of my unborn child and my own father is probably going to end up in jail for domestic abuse... great.
My life had flipped upside down in the last few months and it was getting harder and harder to handle, I didn't even notice I was crying until a drop landed on my lap, silent tears rolled down my cheeks. I never used to cry, I was always the one that would cry when I was alone and no one could see how much pain I was in, now seemed like a good time to cry. Sitting alone in my car, letting the pain out in my tears, usually it helped, but this time all I could think about was how much I wanted to be safe and warm in Ace's arms...