Operation Beautiful

Chapter 43: did he say that? did he really say that?

Chapter 43: did he say that? did he really say that?

Emmaleigh

It’s like time stopped. It’s like the whole world just took a plunge into an icy river. I can feel his arms around me, my back up against his chest, his warm breath against my neck.

What if I said I do?

Did he say that? Did he really say that? What if--? I feel the tears spring to my eyes, the anger throbbing in my chest. How can he do that? I told myself I would get over him. He doesn’t like me. He kissed me after dumping my best friend, told me it meant nothing, and then ignored me for two weeks. I told myself he wasn’t worth it. That I was doomed to feel attracted to jerks.

But there I was, at an ice-skating rink, telling myself that it was perfectly okay to let him hold my hand or help me up because...well...friends could do that kind of stuff. Two whole weeks I had spent banishing him from the furthest corners of my mind only to find that, in the end, he had me on a freaking leash.

And now I was in a photo booth, listening to him tell me what had to be the biggest lie on earth. Right? He couldn’t possibly...could he? Why? Why is he the only one who can string me along like this? He didn’t even say he did like me and yet my heart is pounding like crazy. It’s not fair. It’s just not fair that he can make me like him this much without doing anything.

The tears fall faster now.

“Emmaleigh, uh...”

I turn around and slap him in the face. “What is wrong with you?” I shriek in a whisper.

“Emma, I--”

“Stop playing with me, Corey. I can’t take it anymore!” I look into his shocked face, the tears streaming down my cheeks. “First you’re all nice, and then I’m confused, and then you kiss me, and then it didn’t mean anything, and then you apologize, and then you ignore me for, like, forever and then you’re all nice to me and now...” I stop to take a long shaky breath, getting out of the photo booth as fast as I can..

“You’re such a jerk!”

He runs after me, grabbing my hand. “Emmaleigh, I’m sorry. I know you like Matt but--”

“Shut up!” I scream, not caring how many people are staring at us. I calm myself, but as the words spill out of my mouth I grow more and more frantic. “Just shut up! I don’t like Matt! I haven’t liked Matt since, like, the end of sophomore year when I saw him sucking face with Janice and let me tell you that it was a huge turnoff, okay?! But Jessica doesn’t know that because Jessica--” I rambling now, my mouth moving too fast for me to control. “Because Jessica was so excited about you and she wanted an excuse for the two of you to get together and I tried to tell her that I didn’t care anymore but she wasn’t listening and so I played along to make her happy but I couldn't help but--” I stop suddenly. What am I saying? How much more do I want to humiliate myself? I can’t tell him how much I like him now. Not after all the times he’s given me hope and then snatched it away again. He couldn’t possibly like me back. A strangled sob escapes me as I run out of there to hail a cab, trying not to look down at the photo strip in my hand.

Corey

I get back home, dejected and upset. I guess...I don’t know, I guess I got a little carried away. I mean, she’s just so...she’s just so perfect. And I’m such a screw up.

“Not fun?” Matt asks from the stairs, raising an eyebrow as I slam the door. I just glare at him darkly. “Don’t worry, dude,” he says, clapping me on the back as I stomp upstairs. “It’ll work out.”

I just enter our room and slam the door shut, sitting down on the bed and putting my head in my hands. I need to show her that I care. Because...a smile takes over my face as I remember her words. She doesn’t like Matt. She hasn’t for a while now. I couldn’t stop my smile then and I can’t stop it now.

I stand up and walk over to the bedside table, my fingers flipping aimlessly through the pages of her spiral-bound planner as I think about her face. A flutter of green catches my eye and I snatch the book between my fingers, scrambling to find the page again.

Right there, right there on a page near the back cover of the book. Post-its.

Starting with my first Hi. You put that sticky note on my locker. Umm...can I ask who you are? and ending with my proposition for her to deliver over the PA system. But that’s when it ends. What happened to afterwards? My note from the fortune cookie. What happened to that?

I turn the page, only to find more notes. The latest..., says Emmaleigh’s beautifully penned cursive along the top of the page. The latest person. And underneath are all our latest notes. All the wacky questions that took me so long to come up with, all my responses to her jokes that made me laugh. It was her? The whole time it was her?

I barge into Jessica’s room, ignoring her sudden shriek and sharp “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“The post-its,” I pant out, slamming the spiral-bound planner onto her desk. “They were from Emmaleigh?!”

She swivels around in her office chair to look at my red face. “Okay.” She scratches the back of her neck and gestures to her bed. “I guess I have some explaining to do.”

I sit down on the bed just as she gets up to pace before me. “So...you and Emma were passing notes, right?” I nod. “Well, after you asked about the PA system, I realized that it was you and I begged Emmaleigh to let me trade. Of course, it ended faster than I would have liked at the time, but...yeah. That’s why,” she gestures to the planner I’ve slammed onto her desk, opened to the post-it covered page. “She’s probably missing a couple. Anyway, she helped me deliver them and stuff. She’s...she’s a great friend.” Memories start to unfurl in my mind, the hidden meaning behind them suddenly clear.

I just nod. “Hey, toss me that shirt,” I tell her. She throws the shirt at me from the bed. It unfurls and my Batman boxers fall out. Well, that wasn’t supposed to be there. “Sorry,” I mumble, leaning over to grab them. She just laughs.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen them before,” she says. “Now if they were the ones Matt got for you, then you should be apologizing.”

Of course! Why didn’t I notice it at the time? Why didn’t I notice the signs? But didn’t she tell me it was Jess?

“The post-its. They’re from you, aren’t they?” I ask, softer. She looks at me and then the pillow in her hands.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” She tries to move off the bed, but I grab her arm.

“Hey, tell me first. It’s just a yes or no question.” She looks down and shakes her head.

“No.” I grab her chin and force her to look up.

“You’re not allowed to lie. Are you the one I’ve been exchanging post-its with the entire time?” She seems to relax a bit. She squares her shoulders and looks me in the eye.

“No. No I’m not.” I let go of her, confused.

“Then who is this” I wave the post-it around “from?” The door is kicked open and I see Jessica with a water bottle in each hand.

“It was Jess,” Emmaleigh says, looking at her friend.

Well, she didn’t exactly lie, but...I stumble back to my room, an idea building in my mind. An idea that will show Emmaleigh just how much I care.