Destiel/Sabriel oneshots

OTP things to cunsider (destiel)

Who hates the other best friend?

'Cas despises deans best friend Benny he just doesn't like him, with his stupid hat, they've hated each other since middle school.
but the best thing about it is that Benny hates him too and don't get me wrong he wasn't jealous he just didn't like him.

"CAS WHY DO YOU HATE BENNY? I don't hate Gabe" cas was cooking he didn't want to talk about it but he does "well I should hope, he's your brother in law"

"Yeah, but why," Dean asks sitting on his bar stool "well we never got along growing up, and know his kids are ass' to TOBY, JACK and MARY-JEAN!"

"There playing" cas stops cooking and looks dean dead in the eyes "no, no they aren't"

Who wanted kids?

Dean

Dean was sitting up looking at the sealing
"cas, you awake?"  Cas groans "I'll take that as a yes"

"Mhmm" cas turns and lays his head on Dean's chest.

"Have you ever thought of having kids?" Cas' eyes open wide "uhh yeah"

"No I mean like actually, pushing a child out of you" cas lifts an eyebrow "no" dean stares up at the ceiling as if it was the most Hypnotizing thing. 

"Like I saw, it was in a documentary, and that shit looks hurtful! Women are worriers" this comment makes cas chuckle there are a few moments of silence which is broken by dean looking down at his angel.
"Hey, would you wanna adopt?"

Who wants a pet

"deeeaaan come on, cats are adorable" he whines "no cats are mean creatures, why do you want them" cas grins "cause they're cute and they are fluffy and they remind me of you" dean huffs "how does a cat remind me of you, I'm defiantly a ferocious tiger" cas chuckles "Nah, your a sassy little kitten" cas boops deans nose "yeah and your a little hoodlum" cas laughs "sure whatever helps you sleep at night"

That year dean bought cas a kitten for his birthday, he was black and orange and cas named him bee.
******

Who is the most protective?

Castiel, cause dean gets hit on more, and he just unleashes the sassteil. While Dean will just start kissing cas and flip off whoever Hit on him and leave.

dean and cas we're at Ikea to buy their 5-year-old daughter Claire a new bed. Cas and Claire had wandered into the next aisle, while Dean stood there looking at the paints.

when a blond woman dressed in basically nothing, good looking but... nothing compared to cas in deans mind Walks up to dean and started flirting with him.

"hiya cutie," she says to Dean as he smirks, he knows she just pissed off Cas. And he was just gonna sit back while Cas unleashes all out hell on this chick.

Of course, Cas hears through the rack of wood what the bitch was saying.

he starts walking to the aisle we're dean was. "Wow you look so strong" she feels his arm making him chuckle, cause out of the corner of his eye, he sees the two loves of his life 'oh this is gonna be good' he whispered under his breath.

Cas walks up to the lady a fake smile on his face "yeah he is strong" cas bends down to Claire's hight and says in his baby talk voice  "sweetness, why don't you show the nice lady how strong daddy is" Claire nods and runs up into deans arms "hi sweetie" dean says kissing Claire's nose making her giggle and then gives cas a quick peck.  Cas turns to the girl still giving her a fake smile "bubye" he says waving.

Fun fact- I got this idea because that happened to my parents, my mom is sassy.

The girl rolls her eyes "why every guy I hit on" she leaves. cas grins "assbutt"

"God, you could jog to China with that much sass" Dean mumbles to himself then following his husband.

How do they deal with homophobia or people who are confused?

MORE SASS, HERE ARE SOME SITUATIONS THEY'VE BEEN IN.

Dean and cas we're at lunch with one of there friends from cas' work.

cas and Jen were basically best friends with Cas. besides meg. Jen brought her boyfriend,  Mark they've never met.

Cas hugs Alex then sees Mark and blanks Cas isn't good at socializing. at all. So dean jumps in.

"Hey, I'm dean this is my fiance cas" Dean shakes his hand "wait, your gay?"

Dean could feel the Bitch-face form "yeah is that a problem?" H says squinting his eyes, trying to make him look more intimating. Marks eyes go wide "no, no, no you just don't. look. gay"

"what?" Dean says. Mark laughs "you got a leather jacket, plaid, you look really manly" cas tilts head "aren't gay people like, girly?"

Cas facepalms "n-no gay doesn't mean your girly"

That kind of stuff continues.

"so whos the girl of the relationship" dean and cas are so done, dean drops his fork "we Are. Two. Gay Males" Cas says starring at mark.

"I'm good with guys being gay but just don't hit on me," Mark says Jen looks so embarrassed "one I'm getting married, two I have standards" cas sass' back making his fiancé laugh, Jen texts cas under the table.

JEN: Im breaking up with him after this 🤫

Cas: good idea lol

"Wait so you guys don't watch the real house wives? Are you sure your gay?"

"Stop" Jen says sipping her coffee.

And before they pay for the food. Mark asks one more question "if you guys are on a date like this, who pays" dean and cas groan.

Part two bitchez

This time they were at the park with mary-jean and Claire. The two girls run up to the swings and start playing. While Dean and Castiel take a seat on a bench, there's another couple; a 30-year-old woman and a man the same age.

Dean leans in and whispers in cas' ear "cue 'so which ones yours'" Dean says making Castiel laugh. And then it happens "soo, which ones yours?" the women said. "uh," Dean says "the two on the swings" cas points to the two girls on the swings "oh," the lady goes.

"you guys, have kids, together?" Dean stares at here "yeah"  then the man pipes up "do you ever get worried that they'll get bullied for having two dads?" Cas glares at them "maybe you should teach your shit kids not to bully people with two dads" Dean smirks 'there's sasstiel'

"But don't you think they deserve a mother?" Dean chuckles "I grew up with basically no mother or father, I turned out fine" the man pipes up again "no you turned out gay" cas stiffens "exactly, he turned out fine" dean gets up and holds out his hand to cas, "I'm done with this bull, come on cas let's go play with our amazing kids" he takes his hand and start walking over to the swings

The woman screams "your going to hell!"

Dean yells back "with you existing, I'm already there!" Dean and cas flip them off in unison. And start pushing their kids on the swings.