PruCan - Recover (Nights)

5

"Mattie?"

"Yes, Gil?"

I couldn't help but smile softly at my own nickname. It wasn't as if I had known Matthew long, but the time that I had known him was different from the rest of my time here, and even the rest of my life. The simple sound of a little thing like my nickname was enough for me to feel relaxed and at ease around him. I knew it was silly, but I smiled all the same.

"Can I ask you a question?" I went to sit next to him on our couch, turning to face him.

"Of course, what is it?"

"Why didn't you share your speaking again earlier? You know, like when I went to say it, but you stopped me that one day? I get that it wasn't mine to share, and that was maybe a little bit... unawesome of me to have tried, and I get that now, and I'm sorry. But you could have shared it then instead, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," he responded, eyes not necessarily meeting mine.

"Well, why didn't you want the others to know that you spoke to me then? Isn't that kinda the whole point of this, to share when we do good?"

"Yes, it is." He didn't say anything else for a moment, but I let him collect his thoughts. I had learned to wait in silence since meeting Matthew, and it was always well worth it with him.

"I think that I just wasn't ready," he finally said. "It wasn't the right time. But also, I kind of just wanted it to be something special between the two of us, at least for a little while. You know, talking to you was a big thing for me, and it was because you really mattered to me and I also just wanted you to know that you were important. It was just something for us. Does that make sense?"

"It does," I reassured him. "I definitely don't find myself pausing for too many other people than you, or trying to rein myself in to listen to others still. And you are certainly the only person apart from me who I care to know a lot about. Or even just a little about...."

"I guess this roommate thing really can work out for some people."

"Yeah, I guess it can."

We sat for a moment in silence, just grinning at each other for several minutes before I chose to break it.

"Uh, hey, want to watch a movie tonight or something? I have all the classics."

"You mean you have stuff like Gone with the Wind and Singin' In the Rain?" Matthew looked absolutely incredulous at the idea, and I laughed so hard I snorted.

"God, no! I meant The Godfather and Jaws and Dracula – the good stuff, Mattie!"

He even managed a chuckle himself as he shook his head in amazement. "I guess those are classics too, yes."

"Yeah they are! Man, you are on fire tonight with the guessing, Birdie!"

He blinked. "Birdie?"

"Yeah, Birdie!" I exclaimed happily. "'Cuz I had this pet bird once, and you kinda remind me of him, all cute and soft and awesome like that! Plus, your voice is so soft, it sounds kind of like a bird chirping when you speak."

"I didn't know you had a pet bird," he remarked, and I was impressed at his ability to keep his voice controlled when he was blushing like crazy.

"When I was a kid, yeah," I responded.

"That's really cool." I loved the way Matthew smiled when he was happy for other people. "And, I guess we could use some Godfather in here. Not enough drama in this place by itself, right?"

This time, both of our laughter was enough for someone down the hall to yell at us to shut it, and that only left us in more hysterics.

I think we both fell asleep on the couch that night, somewhere in the sixth or seventh hour of the best nine hours film ever made. I woke up to long legs tangled with mine, blankets wrapped tightly around the pair of us, and at my attempt to gracefully remove myself, I instead fell off the couch and onto my face, waking up Matthew – who promptly burst into giggles at seeing my disgruntled form on the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, get over it Mattie..." I grumbled, trying to free my legs from the blankets still entrapping them before standing.

"I – I'm sorry," he managed to get out, almost crying with how hilarious he thought this was. "It's just too funny!"

I stuck my tongue out as I finally made it to my feet, then went about making pancakes for the both of us (it was the only breakfast food we ate after I had discovered it from Matthew's daily meal of them). And after Matthew had collected himself, he came and joined me in the kitchen, setting coffee to brew and aiding with whisking the batter and getting breakfast going faster and cleaner than I would have managed by myself.

"Gil?" his voice hummed out, as we were moving around the kitchen still, flipping pancakes and plating them together, eating them almost as fast as we were making them, despite our intentions to have an actual, sit-down meal, rather than shoving them in our mouths as quick as they came.

"Yes?"

"You really had a pet bird?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, and a bunch of dogs all my life too, a cat for a little while. Fish, of course, even a gerbil once or twice. What pets did you have?"

He shook his head. "We didn't, my family didn't believe in pets. I had a stuffed polar bear when I was little, then my parents got rid of it. They said I was too old to have it anymore."

"I'm sorry Mattie, that sucks," I muttered, frowning at the idea of a younger Matthew never getting to run with a dog or cuddle with a cat, and then having his favorite toy taken from him.

"It's alright," he shrugged. "I just mainly can't believe you actually had a bird."

"Yeah, a little yellow chick. And you really do remind me of him. Plus –" I cut myself off though, which of course immediately perked Matthew's attention.

"Plus... what?" he smirked, sensing my rising embarrassment.

"You know, I am supposed to be working on listening more than talking..."

"Bullshit, you just don't want to tell me!" He sounded positively triumphant.

"You are a tad bit of an ass now that you speak," I huffed, but at his pointed look, I relented. "I was just going to say that when you first spoke to me, it made me think of the first time my bird sang. It was so hopeful, and beautiful, and kind of like a poetic start to your recovery. And I never would have thought that you would speak, let alone to me, so it was just really... nice, like my bird used to make me feel."

He gave me a soft smile, before stating, "You are such a dork." I spluttered in response, blushing furiously, but as Matthew burst into laughter, I couldn't care about how vulnerable I felt, only that I wouldn't mind feeling that way more if it meant he would laugh like that again.