Twelve

Six.

He probably knew, when he saw him with his girlfriend for the first time. It was the girl from the date. They also made it look easy. They weren't easy to look at but they made love look easy. It was quite bizarre that his sister made him feel jealous but his friend didn't. He again, didn't know how to feel. He felt nothing. But it was different than the cigarette nothing. That was also bizarre, two different nothings. One was more like an emptiness. During the cigarette nothing, he wanted to feel something but couldn't. But during this nothing he couldn't feel something. He felt the edges of the feelings shoving against the emptiness but they couldn't break it. He tried to reach the feelings he didn't know what kind they were but couldn't. They were drifting away as soon as he tried to grab them. It was frustrating. Ah. So there was actually something he could feel. Frustration.