Twelve

Nine.

He probably knew, when he was sitting at the lake. Again. He sat there a lot lately. He bought a lot of cigarettes lately too. And smoked a lot. He didn't even know why. Maybe it was the numbness that was so appealing. But the numbness wasn't even really there. It was more like holding in a breath. The first moment you feel nothing but then your chest gets heavier and you just have to breath again. He did a lot of running lately too. When he ran he had to concentrate on his breathing that helped to shut out his mind. He didn't exactly know why that was such a big problem to him. His mind. But he was a teenager after all, right? They all felt bad and they all had trouble in their minds, right? It was nothing new. Nothing new. Just like the past few months of his life, running and smoking. Nothing new.