what am i doing? what am i doing?
he doesn't love me anymore. he doesn't care anymore. he would rather fuck other girls and hang out with his guys. he thinks im annoying when i say i love you. he never texts first. he doesn't want to talk to me. he doesn't want to be with me.
why am i wasting my time and heart on him? why am i lying here in the dark crying, while he's probably deep inside another girl? why am i trying so hard to make him come back? why am i the one fighting so hard while i never once cross his mind? why should i have to prove to him that im worth loving? why should i have to remind him that im worth loving?
he's out there focusing on his own needs and wants while i juggle all of my needs with the desire to bring him back. he's not trying to remind me to love him, prove to me to love him. he's not going out of his way to show me his love. he's ignoring my messages until two in the morning and then not responding. all i said was that i love him. his lack of response is enough of a response, sadly.
i know i should stop. i know i deserve more than begging for someone to love me, to talk to me, to be with me. i know i deserve more than crying myself to sleep because i don't know what im doing wrong in my efforts to chase after him. i know i am more than just waiting around for a reply, a call, a like, anything at all. i know i am more than just second thought I Love You's and day late messages. but it's him.
