Baseball (VHope)

Nine

Jimin drove me home before the baseball team even went out to practice. I sent Hoseok a text letting him know that he didn't have to worry about driving me home. But now, I was sitting with Namjoon like I used to always do when we were little. He set me on his lap and let me tell him about what happened. His gaze darkened and I thought he was going to turn into the Hulk. "But Jungkook beat him up and Hoseok yelled at him and made the entire team run stadiums after practice," I reassured and he calmed down slightly. "Good. So I don't need to kill anyone?" he asked quietly and I nodded with a little giggle. He held me tight and ruffled my hair. "You got good friends, baby bear," he said warmly, all dimples and no anger.

Jin walked into the living room with a small grin on his face. "Tae, you have a present," he said and I followed him to the front door, only to be met with Hoseok. His hair was all curly and slightly damp from the shower, clad in a thin yellow shirt and blue jeans. "Hey, pumpkin," he mumbled and I nodded to him. Jin shoved me out of the way and pulled Hoseok into the house. "Tae, don't just let him stand there! Come in, Hoseok-ah. Are you hungry?" he gushed and I giggled while Hoseok bowed politely, nodding sheepishly as he slipped off his shoes. We passed through the living room, where Namjoon only gave Hoseok a dimpled smile when they crossed paths.

When we got to the kitchen, Hoseok watched as Jin heated up a bit of stew left over from dinner. "I just wanted to come check on you," he admitted bashfully as he scratched the back of his neck. He looked so tired, but he really did care. No he doesn't, you delusional idiot. "Tae, stop it," Jin whispered as he passed me, just loud enough for only me to hear. I looked back to my friend, who was eating like he was starving and I had to stifle a laugh. He beckoned me over to stand next to him as he set his half-empty bowl down on the counter. I obliged and was immediately wrapped up in his arms.

"The coaches are taking care of it, Taehyungie. They won't bother you," he mumbled and I buried my face in his neck as I nodded. "Thank you, Hobi." I don't think either of us missed how my lips brushed against his skin. "I told you I'd take care of you," he whispered and I felt a kiss be placed against my temple. I smiled into his neck and he let go of me after another second.

Silence fell upon us as he went back to eating and I sat on the counter. "I forgot to ask you this, but do your brothers always interrogate your friends when they first meet them?" he said after a while and I nodded with a small laugh. "Yeah. They interrogated the shit out of Yoongi and to this day they're still apprehensive of him. We've been friends since he was a sophomore. They love Jimin to death and I grew up with Kookie, but when I came out and a few months later Kookie did, my brothers interrogated him." Hoseok nodded, eyes wide as he ate. "Fun fact: Kookie had the biggest crush on Jin, even though Jin had a girlfriend at the time," I added and his eyes went even wider.

Namjoon entered the kitchen and ruffled my hair as he passed us, patting Hoseok on the shoulder as well. "Hey, kiddos. Thank you for helping out my baby brother, by the way," he said to my friend, who bowed politely and nodded. "I don't like people hurting my friends," he said and my brother hummed as he made a glass of water. "That's good. Stay that way." And Hoseok promised he would.

Bad days come like the ebb and flow of the tides. They sometimes come slowly and aren't as bad, but then they can rush on you so fast they knock the breath out of your lungs. When the bad days usually left me breathless, I usually searched for my metal coping mechanism, but it was now in Namjoon's possession. All I wanted was to cut my arm open and bleed out in my bathtub, but I just couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair to Hoseok, my brothers, my friends... It wouldn't be fair to me, either.

While practice went on, I sat in the art room and cried. I spent my day in the councilor's office anyways, but I didn't allow myself the luxury of crying until now. So I curled up in Mrs Jeon's large desk chair and sobbed into my knees. My breathing was labored, my chest hurt and I was deaf with the sound of blood rushing in my ears. I was wheezing in between sobs, unable to calm down on my own. Being alone like this wasn't good; I would eventually exhaust myself and pass out.

My friends always came to my rescue, but they weren't there. And I couldn't call them; my voice would betray me and I couldn't see my phone screen through rapid tears anyways. There was only one thing on my mind as I cried my heart out.

I want Hoseok. I needed him here with me. I needed his warmth, touch, heartbeat, him. I needed to hear him tell me that I'd get better, that the pain was already temporary. I needed him to drive me home and to stay with me no matter how much my brothers would beg me to let them comfort me. I needed to have Hoseok lay with me and run his hands through my hair and tell me about his day, how practice went or anything that came to his beautiful mind. I just need him.

"Pumpkin, why weren't you - Holy shit, Taehyung!" I didn't look up when I heard my savior's voice. I only sobbed as he rushed over and picked me up out of the hair, only to sit down in it himself with me on his lap. I held his neck tightly and buried my face in it; his skin was slightly damp and smelled like his soap from his after-practice shower. His scent calmed me, along with the feel of his arms around me. "Hobi," I cried and he rested his cheek on my head, shushing me as he squeezed me tight. "Shh, pumpkin. It'll pass, I promise. I'm here now," he cooed and I felt feather-light kisses in my hair.

We stayed like that for a while, just until my breakdown was over. With Hoseok holding me so close, it only took me twenty minutes for my sobs to be diminished to sniffles, then to nothing at all. "Hey, pumpkin," he mumbled when I pulled my face from his neck to look into those comforting eyes. That sweet heart-shaped smile caused warmth to spread in my chest and a tiny close-lipped smile to take my own features. "Thank you," I whispered, but it came out more like a whimper. Hoseok sighed and rubbed my back in slow circles. "I'll take you home, okay? It's Friday, so we'll see if I can stay the night or something," he suggested and I hugged him tighter. "Please, Hobi. Please stay," I croaked out and he nodded as we stood up. "Let's go."

"Of course you can stay the night, Hoseok!" Jin said cheerily and Namjoon nodded, his head against my shoulder. We told them about what happened and I was immediately pulled into Namjoon's arms. Hoseok bowed thankfully and I smiled to myself. He'd be spending the night with me tonight. "Thank you Seokjin, Namjoon, I just... I want to spend time with him outside of school." My brothers let out noises of understanding, Jin placing a hand on my friend's shoulder. "We get it, doll. We really do. And when we glare at you, it's truly nothing bad. We're overprotective and can be harsh, but we really do like you."

I smiled to myself once again, feeling Namjoon's arms tighten around me. He was the real one reluctant to let me go, mainly because he raised me more than anyone else did. More than Jin and more than my parents, who I was pretty sure left me in my brothers' care on purpose. They're perfectionists; everything must be perfect. My brothers were perfect and lived up to their expectations, unlike me. I was imperfect and therefore unworthy of my parents' time. But Namjoon and Jin loved me anyways. And Namjoon was my protector. Of course he was reluctant to let anyone else take care of me.

But he smiled at Hoseok and said, "Hyung's right. I like you very much, even though I might not seem like it. You make my baby bear happy, and that's something not even Jungkook can do. Thank you." And I almost cried again."

I write what I feel. I was having a bad day writing this. Happy Days!

- Tae