Baseball (VHope)

Six

Today wasn't good. Not at all. This entire week wasn't very good. After a week of near-happiness, it had to come crashing down. I knew it did. Every good day was followed by even more bad ones. That's how it worked. But why did it have to be after a really great weekend texting Hoseok nonstop? Why did it have to leave me breathless as I ran down the hall at the end of the day with tears streaming down my face?

My heart raced and my lungs hurt as I burst into the bathroom and threw my stuff onto the ground against the wall. I choked on air as I opened it to pull out the only thing I could trust; my penknife. I stared at it as I sat back against the wall and rolled one of my sleeves back. I hadn't hurt myself in a few months, much to my family and friends' joy, but the feeling of holding my metal coping mechanism in my shaky hand felt good. While I let the blade glint in the light, I thought about everyone.

Jimin would cry. Jungkook would be horrified. Yoongi would get mad. My brothers would ground me and watch me like a hawk; no doubt they would tell my friends to watch me too, if they didn't have enough common sense to already do that. But fuck it.

Just as I placed the blade to my wrist, the bathroom door opened and I froze. There Hoseok stood; eyes wide in shock and slight horror, mouth slightly agape. Way to go, Taehyung. Look what you've done. Now he doesn't want anything to do with you, just like Mom and Dad and Mingyu and Minjae. You fucked up in front of your crush of two, almost three years. Dumbass. Worthless piece of shit. Fuck up. And I started to cry harder.

Hoseok's footsteps ceased right in front of me and I felt the blade slip out of my hands. The sound of it clicking closed echoed through the bathroom and I knew I wouldn't be getting it back. I felt my phone slide out of my pocket, followed by silence for a minute or so. "Hey, Seokjin, it's Hoseok. I'm here with Taehyung and he isn't in the best frame of mind right now. I don't have practice today, so it is alright if he comes home with me for a while? I aunt will be home so... Alright. Thank you so much. I'll take care of him, I promise. Take care." Then a sigh as he hung up.

Warm arms wrapped around me and I rested my head against a strong chest. Hoseok let me cry for a few more minutes, then helped me up and picked up my bag for me. "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" he asked and I shook my head weakly, allowing him to hold my face in his hands. "Good. How about we go to my house, hm?" he suggested and I nodded weakly once again as he wiped my tears for me. "You're okay, pumpkin. Come on," he whispered and we made our way to his truck, where we spent the whole ride in silence.

When we pulled into the driveway, I was taken aback by the house that greeted me. It was an out-of-date, two-story Victorian with a wrap-around porch on the first level and a balcony on the next. It looked like it was going to fall apart by a simple gust of wind. While it seemed poor, it reminded me of my grandmother's farmhouse and I immediately took a liking to this house, even though my grandmother wasn't alive anymore.

We stepped out of the truck and up to the front door, which was open and only had a screen door to protect the inside from the outside world. "It's old, but it's home," Hoseok said quietly and I could tell he was embarrassed of it. I shook my head and smiled at it. "No, it's cute. Don't be embarrassed, Hoseok," I reassured and he nodded and straightened up with a little more confidence as he opened the door.

"Is that my Hoseokie?" a woman's voice came from somewhere in the house as we removed our shoes and hung up our bags. "That's my aunt. She goes by Lucy," Hoseok explained with a sigh. "Yeah, Lucy! It's me!" he yelled and pulled me through the slightly messy entry hall, through the cute living room that was a little larger than my own, and through a hall lined with pictures and into  the farmhouse-style kitchen. The air was saturated with the smell of baking bread and other sweet things, as well as the smell of cooked pears. It smelled like heaven.

Amongst the chaos stood a small woman with caramel-colored hair pulled into a messy bun. She had on an oversized Tigers t-shirt that said 'Class of 2006' written across the back. It was about three times her size, but her heavy belly let me know why she was wearing it in the first place. Her grey eyes shone with joy as she pinched my friend's cheek affectionately. "How was your day?" Her voice was kind of deep for a woman, sort of like my mother's. Still, it was nice to hear.

My crush smiled at her and shrugged. "It was alright. Um, Lucy? This is my friend Taehyung," he said nervously as he pulled me forward a little bit. Lucy's gaze shifted to me and she pulled me into a rather bone-crushing hug. "Nice to finally meet you!" she cheered and rubbed my arms. I smiled sheepishly at her and kept my mouth shut. Hoseok seemed to notice my discomfort, for he cleared his throat and pulled me back a little bit. "Lucy, he's not really a people-person. Don't overwhelm him," he muttered and she nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry, Taehyung. Hobi never brings his friends home," she said and I made a gesture to know that it was okay.

"Well, we're going to my room, BYE!" Hoseok rushed as he pulled me to the stairs, but Lucy was faster. "Not so fast, Jung Hoseok. Living room," she commanded, pointing a rolling pin at him like a weapon. He rolled his eyes, but obeyed and pulled me into the large living room. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled and we took a seat on the couch.

"Sorry about her. She's going through a lot right now and needs to find ways to be happy. She runs a bakery, so that's why she's baking so much, if you were wondering," he mumbled and I curled up in a ball as I shrugged. "She's pretty cool," I mumbled back and he nodded slowly as he stared off into space. "What's wrong, pumpkin?" All traces of the carefree boy were gone, replaced by someone serious and concerned. I peered at him through my bangs as I tried to form a response. But I didn't have one. I had been doing this so long I forgot why I started doing it in the first place. But he didn't understand me like my brothers did; I didn't have to have a reason around them. But then again, Hoseok didn't have to live with me.

But when he was met by my silence, he laced our fingers together and waved our hands in front of us a little. "Okay. Just, whatever you're feeling, please don't hurt yourself. That's all I ask," he whispered and I squeezed his hand as I looked away. "It's hard," I barely managed to get out as he soothed circles into the back of my hand. "Everything will be fine in the end." And we went back into silence.

I fell into Jin's arms the minute I set foot into the house. He chuckled lightly and kissed my head as he led me into the living room, where Namjoon was Hello Councilor. He smiled at me and patted the seat next to him and I immediately curled up, resting my head in his lap. "Hey, baby bear," he mumbled and threaded his fingers through my hair like he used to do whenever I had episodes like the one at school. I smiled at my childhood nickname and Jin lifted my legs to sit down, letting them rest in his lap. Family time, since I tried to hurt myself and I knew they knew it.

Namjoon continued to run his fingers through my hair absentmindedly as Jin let out a sigh. "Did Hoseok take care of you like he promised?" he asked and I nodded, my heart fluttering at the memory of him letting me rest my head on his shoulder as we ate dinner on the couch. Normally after an episode, I wouldn't eat, but Lucy nearly threw a pan at me when I told her I couldn't eat; I had no choice but to eat just a little bit. "He stopped me from cutting. He has my blade, so I can't do it again," I mumbled without opening my eyes.

My brothers sighed in relief. "Good. I'm thankful for him," Namjoon hummed and I squeezed his knee in a sort of thanks. It really didn't matter if Jin approved or not; as long as I was happy, he was happy. But Namjoon was another story. He was my overprotective big brother who wouldn't let anyone closer than two feet from me. Him approving of Hoseok was huge, even if he and I weren't dating; they knew about my two-year crush on him. This has been formulated from the start.

But it was still a long way to go before he would even consider allowing Hoseok to be my boyfriend, and I was okay with that.