Titan

What Life Was Like

Eric used to have a good sense of humor. It was eclectic. He could talk for hours on end about the logical inconsistencies on Power Rangers or just as long about foolishness in politics. From one thought to the next, Eric could be wry, dry, or terribly sarcastic. Every now and again he would go on George Costanza-like rants about whatever pissed him off at that time. Usually it was about driving or school, but it could be about something as stupid as why a movie called Major League: Back to the Minors shouldn't be called "Major League" if the team is in the minor leagues.

If it hadn't been for that sense of humor and his light-hearted spirit, Melanie might have destroyed him. Not killed him, mind you; Eric was very much the product of Tim Steele, a strong-willed man who didn't allow his son to use the word "can't." No, Eric never ever considered suicide. Nothing, his mom always told him, is worth killing yourself over. In the end, Eric agreed. He hurt all over, but he was alive. That was something. It didn't seem like much, but it was.

The destruction of a person's spirit is almost worse than death. There were times when Eric felt like he didn't know who he was anymore. It tortured him to think that he had lost himself and forged his identity through Melanie, but it was the truth—or it used to be. But without her, after that terrible day, Eric held on to his humor. It sustained him and kept him alive. When all other emotions were forced or fake, Eric could laugh—and doing so jumpstarted his heart. After a while, it was beating on its own and Eric found himself again. Admittedly, a bitter flood of hate swept through him whenever he saw Melanie or any of his old "friends," but it would subside.

There was something else, too. When the world crashed down around him, Drew was there—non-judgmental and supportive. Of course, he wasn't supportive the way Oprah was supportive; Drew just listened. As for his lack of judgment, Eric was quietly astonished. Drew had an opinion about everything. And they had been friends almost as long as Eric and Jim had been friends. So Drew was rarely shy about sharing his opinions. When Eric was with Melanie, Drew thought he was too needy, too dependent. Most of all, Drew didn't buy the whole "love" part. He didn't think two 14 year olds could know what love was. Maybe he was right.

Eric and Drew worked at a RECenter ice rink. They were "skate guards," which Eric likened to lifeguards. And in truth, the jobs were basically the same, except one was on a rink and the other was in a pool. But there was a lot more cleaning in their day to day. And, oh yeah, they were paid a lot less than lifeguards.

The evening after Eric woke up red and restless, he and Drew swept up in the "warming" room just outside the rink. There were large wooden benches in rows lined up. They were old and the wood was chipped and splintered from all the skate blades that had been set upon them over the years. The temperature was cool. A smell like stale water was always in the air. They were debating an important issue.

"I like Rocky IV as much as the next guy, but it's not better than Rocky II. I mean, how exactly do you judge that?" Eric asked with the shadow of a smile on his lips.

Drew shook his head. "Rocky II is boring. It's like Rocky... but not good. It's depression for two hours until he finally fights again."

"Depression? It's character development! Rocky's gotta figure out that, at heart, he's a fighter. No matter what Adrian or Mickey tell him, he needs to fight. The 'depression' is his journey in understanding that. But that's beside the point... Rocky IV is only an hour and ten minutes long and three-quarters of it is a friggin' music video!"

"With awesome music! The eighties at their best."

"You know I love the eighties as much as the next guy... but 'No Easy Way Out'? C'mon, that song's horrible. The guy who 'sings' it is a discount Corey Hart."