"One more push baby! You can do it!" I hear Erik cheer me on. I push one more time out comes a crying baby. My little girl. I look over at Erik and he has tears in his eyes. The doctors have her checked out and all that.
You did amazing sweetheart!" Erik says to me with so much love. I look deep into his eyes and as they begin to get heavy.
"Sleep, baby. It's ok. You deserve it." Is the last thing I hear Erik say as I drift off.
A couple hours I start to wake up. I look over at Erik and he looks totally emotionless. His face was red and he had tear stains. What did I miss?
"Baby?" I question. Erik snaps out of his thought and looks over at me. He lets out a little smile. He is trying to hide something and I'm not for it.
"Where is she?" I question him and gulp.
"The doctors are taking care of her still. They won't tell me why and I'm so worried." He mumbles looking at the floor. Tears come to my eyes.
Just then a doctor walks into the room.
"Hey, Mr. Stocklin and Ms. Ballinger." He says with a half-smile and sitting in a chair across from us.
"We have to break some news to you guys. I hate to do this. I really do but.... Your daughter has Leukemia. She will have chemo for a couple months till it goes away." He says. My face goes blank. My daughter has cancer. This cant be right. I am always spending my birthday at the hospitals with kids with cancer and raising money for kids. I never thought this would happen to me. I am absolutely devastated. I snap back and see Erik sobbing. I know he feels the same way. It's hard hearing your child has cancer. I begin to shake. This cant be real. This has to be a dream. Sadly it isn't.
"I'll leave so you two can have a moment" the doctor says before he walks out. Erik hugs me and we cry in each other arms.
Hours pass again and we just sit in the room silently. A nurse knocks on the door.
"Delivery." She says while rolling our little girl and set her on my chest. I gently rest my hands on her back as she sleeps. I look down at her with tears in my eyes.
"She's our little fighter," Erik says watching us. I nod in agreement.
"She is so strong," I say. Erik gently rubs the back of her head.
"She needs a special name. One that has a special meaning" Erik says.
"Agreed," I say. Erik pulls out his phone and begins to look up names.
"How about Kelsy? It means 'brave' in old English" he finally says after a few moments.
"I love it!" I smile.
"Kelsy Mae" he mumbles. I kiss her little head and hand her to Erik. He takes her super carefully from me and holds her. He looks down at her smiling and rocking her ever so gently. The love in his glare as her watches her is the cutest. He talks to her softly and she smiles at him. She is so alert. She is so strong. Then the worst thought comes to me.
"Erik... we were never planning for this. I don't think we have enough money for all her bills. And we also have to tell the fans" tears roll down my cheek. Erik sets her down in her crib gently and sits beside me.
"Everything will be just fine. Something is telling me we have a strong, brave, determined little girl in our hands and that she will heal quickly." He smiles at me which makes me smile.
"And to the money thing, I have a lot of money saved. We will be just fine." I sigh in relief. He rubs his thumb on my cheek.
"Don't worry, be happy" he smiles. I put my hands on his. I sit up indicating I wanted a kiss. We peck. Although our little girl isn't in the best condition. I feel so confident. I look over at our Kelsy and smile. My little angel. My beautiful, strong, brave, determined angel. I look over at Erik and see his fast asleep in the chair. He is so cute when he sleeps. I can't wait to marry this man. The love of my life. My soul mate.
I pull out my vlog camera and turn it on.
"Hey, guys. Today has been some day for Erik and I. Our little girl was born today. A few hours later the doctor came in and told us she has cancer." I pause trying to hold back tears.
"Erik and I decided to name her Kelsy which means 'brave' in old English. This whole thing is super hard on us so if we aren't active this is why." I point the camera at sleeping, Kelsy.
"This is our strong, brave, determined angel, Kelsy Mae Stocklin." I switch the camera back to me.
"We hope you will understand. We love you guys so much but we can't really be active. It's too hard. Thank you guys for joining us on all our journeys and we hope you will be able to join us on this one as well. Please, if you don't mind, pray for this little one. She was just born today and she already has cancer. She doesn't deserve this. I guess that is it for now. We love you guys and will talk to yall soon. Bye" I say and shut off the camera. I grab my laptop and begin to edit.
An hour later I finish and Kelsy starts to fuss. I pick her up and start to feed her. I look down at her and she stares up at me with a smile in her eyes. After about 15 minutes of feeding and she is all burped I place her back in her crib and watch her till she falls asleep. I look over at Erik and he is still sleeping peacefully. I look at my phone and see its 1 am. I post the video and go right to sleep. I will look at the comments tomorrow.
Kelsy Mae Stocklin, born July 2nd 9:36 am
