Alone

Chapter: 18 // i found •

Hilda, Midge, and Georgie are sat outside the Barrington house on a bench, awaiting Maggie's verdict; Rosita standing beside them at the truck and Enid behind the trio. Michonne stands on the porch, and after some time of waiting outside, she turns around and pushes through the doors impatiently, probably heading for Maggie's office. Soon after Enid pushes in as Jerry comes out. I sigh, glance at Rosita, and follow after her.

"I can't let her go, not with what they have. I've got too many mouths to feed." I overhear Maggie say as I slide past Jerry. "They have crates of food in that van. People here could be starving, soon."

"Maggie's right. We take their stuff. Otherwise, someone else will. Someone else will kill them. It's a miracle they're still alive, anyways." Enid pauses before starting for Michonne; she stands close, under her nose, close, and I can feel the tension exhuming off the two. "The Saviors are on their way. We're gonna fight, and some of us will die so why should we give a crap about people who don't give a crap about themselves? I mean out there living like that? We take their stuff and we use it. We stop pretending that things just work out. They don't."

"Carl rescued Siddiq and now we have a doctor, and we have a friend." Michonne starts, differing Enid's gruff manner with a calm, matter-of-fact approach. She carefully grabs the pistol in her clutch and seizes it. "Carl was brave."

"And now he's dead." She croaks through her tears. I fold my arms over my bosom, my jaw nearly unhinges at what I'm hearing.

"Step back." Michonne says, looking her in the face, and I can feel the disappointment in her gaze. She looks like she might be on the verge of saying something when suddenly, she turns on her heels and makes a dash for the front door. Michonne looks on, tears filling her brown eyes.

"Things don't just work out." Maggie says, in agreement with Enid.

"No. No they don't. But I think he knew that. He didn't give up on who Rick wanted him to be. And we can't, on who he wanted us to be. We can't." She walks away with tears spilling down her cheeks; I follow closely behind her in silence. I feel like I should apologize for something, but I don't know what. I haven't talked to her since it happened, since before it happened. She seems to be the only person here who remembers Carl as I did, who shares my same beliefs. I don't know what happened to my friend. If Carl were alive to see her act like this today, I don't think he would, either. I don't think she cares what he wanted us to be.

Maggie walks out with a crate of phonographs soon after their exchange, she drops it at Georgie's feet wordlessly.

"No spoken word?" Georgie inquires, glancing at the records.

"I'm agreeing to your deal. We'll fill your four crates, and then you can go. You're gonna want that to be sooner or later."

"I accept, but I'm changing the terms. This one, no more. In addition, you can have a sizeable portion of my food stores. From the looks of things around here, you need it far more than we do."

"You're giving us food?" Maggie probes, unbelieving. Georgie simply nods. "In exchange for what?"

"Records, and good faith. To be clear, this isn't a gift, it's barter. I'll be back. Maybe not for a while, but I will, and by then, I expect great things." She ambles over to the vehicle, "here.." she goes, then pulls out a large book from the van. "Is the aforementioned key to a future. Inside there are handwritten plans for windmills, watermills, silos, hand-drawn schematics, guide to refining grain, creating lumber, aqueducts, a book of medieval human achievement, so we may have a future from our past."

Maggie glances at the book then back up at her with furrowed brows.

"Yes, I know, the originals are in my head, but I made photocopies. Still, it's been an evolving document since the copy shop." She elucidates, and Maggie's face softens.