Alone

Chapter: 22 // i forget where we were •

It's been a while since I last saw any familiar faces. The world feels different now, heavier. I left the group for reasons that seemed right at the time, but now, coming back, I'm not sure what to expect. Not from them, not from myself. I look down at my son—his wide eyes taking in everything as we walk toward the walls of the Commonwealth. It's been years since I've seen any of them. I don't even know who's left. The thought twists in my gut, but I shove it down. I can't afford to break now. Not in front of him. 

The gates creak open slowly, and I can feel my pulse quicken with every step we take forward. My legs are heavy, but I can't stop moving. What if they don't recognize me? What if they do? My son clutches my hand tightly, and I glance down, offering him a small, reassuring smile, even though I feel anything but calm.

Faces begin to emerge from the gates, some I don't recognize. Then I see them. Daryl. Maggie. Aaron. There's a tightness in the air as their eyes fall on me, a mix of confusion and disbelief. I can't tell if it's relief, anger, or something in between. Daryl's eyes lock onto mine, searching, but his gaze falls quickly to the child at my side. His brow furrows.

I brace myself.

"Priscilla," Daryl says, voice gruff but soft. "Been a long time."

I nod, feeling words stuck in my throat. He looks down at my son again, and I can see the question on his face even before he asks. "Who's the kid?"

I swallow hard, the weight of everything I've been avoiding for so long pressing on me all at once. "His name is Ben." I don't elaborate, and I know they're waiting for more. The silence stretches, thick and tense.

"Who's his father?" Maggie's voice cuts through the quiet, sharp but not unkind. Her eyes are softer than they used to be, but there's still that strength there. The kind you can't fake after everything we've been through.

My heart hammers in my chest. They deserve the truth, but the truth is complicated. "I... I don't know," I admit, barely above a whisper. My voice feels raw, like I'm confessing something I've kept buried for far too long. In my head I've gone over it a million times, and it could either be Ron's or Jesus'.

The words hang in the air, heavy and unresolved. The silence that follows is deafening. Daryl's eyes shift slightly, something dark flickering in them. Maggie's expression hardens. I don't know how much they know about Ron and I. About Jesus and I. I don't even know if Jesus is still alive. Part of me doesn't want to ask, but I have to know.

"Where's Jesus?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly.

Daryl doesn't look at me when he answers. He just stares off into the distance. "He's gone."

It feels like the ground shifts beneath my feet. Gone. I choke back the sob threatening to break free. I can't lose it. Not now. Not in front of them. Not in front of my son. I blink hard, trying to push back the tears that sting my eyes. I've lost people before—too many to count. But this... Jesus. I thought I'd have time. Time to explain, time to fix things, time to... something.

Maggie steps forward, her eyes softening as she looks at me. "You're here now. That's what matters."

Maggie's words offer a momentary sense of relief, but it's fragile. I glance back at the others, their faces a mix of emotions that feel too complicated to unravel right now. Daryl's eyes linger on me a bit longer before he turns away, walking toward the gate with his usual silent demeanor. Maggie steps closer, reaching out to brush her hand gently over Ben's head. He flinches slightly, not used to strangers, but then relaxes, his small fingers still gripping my hand tightly. "You've got a strong one here," Maggie says, her voice quiet, kind. "Looks like you've done alright."

I try to smile, but it feels forced. There's so much more to the story, so many nights spent wondering if I could actually keep him safe. If I was doing any of this right. "We've survived," I manage to say.