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I wish I was as outgoing as I used to be, back when we first fell in love. But, I've gotten used to hiding over the years. I've tolerated the fact I have to keep my feelings hidden in exchange for privacy. I got to have the perfect relationship as long as nobody saw it; I wasn't allowed to show off my affection and hope people would mind their business.
I got used to cooking meals alone. I got used to having the whole bed to myself. I got used to singing to myself. I got used to leaning on the couch instead of a shoulder. I got used to being alone and having to somehow enjoy it. Once a week I could feel really happen, seeing his lovely face. But six days a week it was me, myself, and I.
Jin, being the eldest and the most trustworthy, was able to spend most of his nights in my apartment while in Korea. We'd fall asleep to movies and bake and wake up for the sunrises, but now a world tour was in full force, so for months at a time I got to finish movies on my own, and barely eat 2 meals a day, and sleep through half the morning.
Some days it felt like I was single. And I hated it... I felt guilty.
I woke up, around 9 am, to a freezing house, and slipped on leggings and one of Jin's old sweatshirts. I made my way downstairs to start on a coffee before making my way to the livingroom. I plopped down and turned on the tv, flipping through random local programming. I came to an old show, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., that Namjoon had gotten Jin and I hooked on. I smiled a little to myself and took out my phone to snap a picture of the screen to Jin. I abandoned my phone to get my finished coffee, and returned after adding powered cream and a couple ice cubes. I was surprised to see a notification from Jin when I got back.
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I sent him a few heart emojis and tucked my phone away, assuming he'd be busy for the rest of the day. I got myself comfortable in the squishy couch and wasted hours just sitting there, watching. I was too bummed out to get up and eat or get dressed, and I hardly wanted to pick up the remote to turn up the volume. I eventually had to, the quietness bugging me; that's another thing I had to get used to... silence. I had to learn to love it.
Around 6 pm, I decided I had to get up and do something. I went into the bedroom I used to share with Jin, but now owned almost completely and slipped on a pair of jeans. I tied my hair lazily into a bun and slipped on some sneakers. There was a café right next to our.. my.. apartment building, and seemed like the perfect place to force myself into, not too far but at least outside the apartment.
When I got down there, I was relieved to find it almost empty. I ordered a coffee and pizza bagel and decided to sit by a window by the side of the building next to the apartments. I sighed as it started to drizzle, not even thinking to bring a proper jacket. I instantly regretted leaving the house.
I sat and ate slowly, hoping to wait out the rain. As I sat there, I saw a pair of guys walk in, both in hoods in attempt to hide their faces. They walked up, and one ordered 2 drinks and a box of donuts. After he ordered, the othet gave him a pat on his back and left the café. As he exited, he flicked his hair of his face, and I could've sworn I recognized his features, but it didn't seem likely. Who I thought he looked like couldn't possibly be in town. The other was still at the counter, waiting on his donuts. I saw his head turn in my direction and I quickly looked away, keeping my face completely turned. Their shady behaviour worried me, and I didn't want to seem like I wanted to be confronted.
After a few minutes, I turned back around, but he was staring right at me. I met his eyes and gasped quietly.
"Jin," I breathed.
He glanced around the café before making his way over, giving a soft smile.
"(Y/N)!" He exclaimed, adjusting his hair and hood slightly so I could see it was really him.
"What are you doing?" I asked, extremely confused.
"I was getting us some treats," He said. "We did good today, we could leave early, so I wanted to come hang out with you," He smiled tiredly.
"You looked like you were gonna rob the place, you and.. was that Taehyung? I thought it was, but I rejected the idea, knowing you'd all be practicing,"
"Oh.. well we had caught the attention of a few fans.. and that usually leads to media," He said.
That's why the group usually practiced so long. From early in the morning to late at night.. the dark world hid them from any attention when being out and about.
"Ah," I said, crumbling up my bagel wrapper.
"Jake," The woman behind the counter called, and Jin went up to get his donuts. He handed me the coffee he ordered and stood for a moment, fixing up his hair and hood curtain. I laughed both at his fake name and disguise.
"Okay, let's go," Jin said.
We walked out of the café, and instantly a gust of wind blew into our faces, pushing Jin's hood down and splashing rain drops on our faces. Two girls who happened to be walking past looked up at as as we struggled to see and screamed. Then more girls, who Jin I think said were the ones he had spotted, came running across the street with cameras.
We quickly ran towards the apartment building and punched in the building code, escaping to the safety of the secured lobby. We got strange looks from everyone inside as we raced into an elevator.
"Great," He huffed. "We're in trouble," He said.
"Trouble?" I asked. "What?"
"(Y/N), people just took pictures of us, who should not be an us, walking into an apartment together. People know now,"
"Oh, god," I mumbled, realizing what this could do.
"It's only a matter of time before someone calls," Jin huffed.
When we got to our floor, we quickly made our way down the hall in case anyone managed to get into the building. We set our things down on the kitchen table, immediately hearing screams from outside. I walked over and carefully pulled a piece of the curtain back. Down at the front of the building was already a mob and at least two media outlets.
"Jin, oh god..," I sighed, walking over to him.
"What?" He asked. He stormed across the apartment and over to the window, not being careful. He pulled the curtain back and exposed his face. He sighed and looked back at me, unsure of what to say. Then, from across the room, tucked in his pocket of his coat that laid across the kitchen table... his phone rang.
**A/N: this is long and boring I'm sorryyy the real drama will be in the second part I promise**
