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To say this week had been rough was the biggest understatement of the year. The launch of a new album was fast approaching, so it was down to cramming in rehearsals and vocal lessons and work outs for comeback shows and premieres. This resulted in Yoongi working 15 hours a day and me stuck in a cycle of work, school, and being alone.
Amongst all this stress and madness, we got some news. Yoongi had come home late one night, around 2 am, and got a phone call from his mother.
"Yeah?" He groaned into the speaker, just wanting to get some sleep. I woke up turned over when I heard his voice, realizing he was home and quickly became curious about the call. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me.
"What? How?" He breathed and almost tried to argue about something. He broke into full Korean, and I only caught onto a couple of words; Dad, okay, Thursday.
Before I knew it, he hung up the phone and let it fall from his hands and land on the floor with a gentle thump. I sat up, shifting the blankets so I could scoot closer to him.
"Yoongi," I mumbled, placing a hand on his shoulder to get him to turn around. "What is it?"
He turned around, bringing his legs up onto the bed, and although it was dark, I could see tears in his eyes.
"Love, what is it? What happened?" I asked, grasping his hand.
"My dad died," He said softly with a crack in his voice.
I scooted even closer and pulled him into my side. I didn't notice he was crying until I felt his tears drip onto my arm. Yoongi hadn't cried much in front of me in the year or so we had been dating, so I didn't know what to do but hold him and whisper reassuring words to him.
He eventually sat up, dried his face with his sleeves, gave a peck to my lips, and turned over to sleep. I didn't want to force him to do anything, so I let him have his space. However, I woke up buried in his body, his arms hugging me tight. I turned slightly to look at him. He hadn't even bothered to remove all his make up, and the crying made it run down his cheeks. I stared sadly at his pale face.
Yoongi's father was his best friend. I was okay with being a second to him. He was so kind to him, and always supported whatever it was Yoongi wanted to pursue. He was who Yoongi went to first with advice on his music or when he needed gift ideas or help with taxes. He taught him how to drive and introduced him to American culture. His father was responsible for why he was who he was, and knowing this, it hurt to imagine what he was going through now that he was gone.
I slowly got up as to not disturb him. I took my phone and went down to the kitchen, brewing myself some coffee. As I sipped, I scrolled through social media to see the news already made it out. Both Jin and Namjoon had texted, and I told them both the same thing.
He needs time. I know now is a really important time for you all, but this may take years to get over. Give him a couple days. Please. We love you.
I got up after replying and started on breakfast. I ran over a scenario in my head where Yoongi refused to get out of bed for the next week and refused any food or human contact. My heart broke just thinking about the situation and how torn and hopeless I'd feel if I were him. But my scenarios were interupted by cold arms wrapping around my waist. I moved slowly as I prepared breakfast, waiting for him to do or say something. I was too shocked he was up to say anything.
"I want a baby," He murmured, allowing his head to drop onto my shoulder.
I dropped the utensils in my hands and turned down the stove. I was frozen for a moment, a million things running through my head. I placed my palms over his knuckles, sucking in a deep breath.
"A baby?" I breathed, and felt him nod, his chin digging into my shoulder.
"Are we ready for that?" I asked after another moment of silence.
"I am," He said quietly. "I think we, together, can be," He turned his head to look up at me. I locked my eyes onto his, searching for answers.
"Why now? When you're in the middle of being so busy and.. and your dad..,"
"He was good to me," He said with a bitter smile. "I wanna be good to my kids, for him, you know? I wanna be just like him," He said. "Honestly I've been thinking on this for a while, and I think now is genuinely a good time to make it happen," He said with tears in his eyes.
"Well..," I sighed, not knowing what to say. I turned around, resting my hands on his shoulders. I looked up into his sad eyes, frowning slightly, before brightening up again when I noticed he was staring back at me.
"I guess we're having a baby," I said, earning a gunmy smile from him.
"I love you," He said, confirming his words with a passionate kiss.
"I love you," I said, pulling away just for air.
"and thank you. I can't wait," He added. And the rest doesn't need to be mentioned, one could guess where this took us.
