Jan,
Perhaps it would be easier to consider not what you want to be, but what you want to achieve.
You may remain stationary, in your senseless job, and you will while away your life with mortgages and tax repayments and the endless trudging continuation of life and living. Which is fine, if it is what you aspire to.
But you are made for more, January. You, strong and resolute and occasionally unsteady on your feet - you say that you need to find out what you want to be, but I think that is the impossibility that you face. The version of you that you think is perfect and ideal, the one that you hope to strive for, changes as often as you do - it is as fluid as quicksilver, and impossible to pin down.
I think you are exemplary the way you are. But the habit of humans to constantly change and grow is not something to be feared - I think it is part of what makes us human. As long as you stand by your values, even as you change and weather, the person you will become will not turn out as awful as you seem to expect.
Do not let the future control you too much, my dear, or you run the risk of living for the future. What will you have when the future runs out?
Yours truly,
Pete
(I'm sorry.)
YOU ARE READING
Re: Pete
Short Story❝Roses have thorns, my dear, but so do you. ❞ In which Jan falls into an existential crisis, and Pete is there for her, if only in the form of words on her screen.
