That summer.

Chapter 6: the fight.

Ronnie went out in the balcony outside of my room and started smoking. I didn't say anything to him because I knew he was so stressed. I got mad at him last time he smoked but I didn't want to start anything right now. I walked out to him.

Alyssa: hey baby, are you okay?

Ronnie: I think so. I'm sorry about this. It's my fault he got in that wreck.

Alyssa: it's not your fault. Don't tell yourself that.

Ronnie: you don't even know hat happened.

Alyssa: well tell me.

Ronnie: well we went to his friends party am I had a few drinks and cut my self of because I knew if I drank on more it would lead to another and so on. So Derek drank a lot. I didn't say anything to him because I know he has been going through a rough time lately and he needed to let loose a little. So he chugged almost half a bottle of vodka and I went over to him and told him to stop. He just shrugged it off and kept drinking so I took it from him and he punched me so I of course punched him back because that is my natural reaction and we went at it for a minuet and then he walked off and tried to drive an wrecked.

Alyssa: it's not your fault Ron.

Ronnie: YES IT IS!

Alyssa: Ronnie please calm down. I know you don't want to hear this right now but you have been getting pretty angry over small stuff lately.

Ronnie: me!? Getting angry over small stuff? Lets look at you Alyssa. I get mad because you do shit that makes no sense but when I do one small thing all I hear is your bitching.

Alyssa: me bitching at you? Look at you right now? What happened to you? You are smoking and don't think I didn't smell the alcohol on your breath the other day.

Ronnie: so I drink sometimes and I smoke. I'm trying to stop but with these little arguments we have been having lately it's hard to.

Alyssa: Ronnie don't put this back on me. It is your choice to do these things.

Ronnie: just like it was your choice to--

Alyssa: to what? Don't even go into my past problems right now Ronnie. You know how I feel about all of it.

Ronnie: trust me I know. I've only heard about it 50 times.

Alyssa: I'm sorry Ronnie sometimes it makes me feel better to talk about it.

Ronnie: and sometimes it makes me fell better when I smoke and drink.

Alyssa: I don't want to fight any more. Please leave. I will call you later.

Ronnie: really Alyssa?

Alyssa: what?

Ronnie: I can't leave. My dad will smell this and give me a fucking lecture and I don't want to hear that right now.

Alyssa: well I'm sorry Ronnie I don't want you to be here if all we are going to do is fight.

Ronnie: I'm sorry babe I didn-

Alyssa: didn't what? Didn't mean to get mad? Didn't mean to yell at me? What excuse do you have this time?

Ronnie: my "excuse"? Wow Alyssa have you not ever heard of forgive and forget.

Alyssa: yes I have but it's hard to forget that the person you are in love with is always mad at you.

Ronnie: I'm not always mad at you. Yea we get into argument but would you rather me not say anything and let it all out in one big fight and us be over?

Alyssa: I don't want to fight at all! I want you to tell me what I am doing wrong so I can fix it. That is my problem you get mad we fight but you never tell me what I did wrong or how I could improve or fix it.

Ronnie: sorry I didn't think you wanted me to point out your flaws.

Alyssa: Ronnie please go I need to be alone for a while.

Ronnie: okay whatever. I hate when this happens and it has been happening a lot lately. I don't know what to do anymore.

Alyssa: Ronnie pleas go.

Ronnie: okay but let me just say that I love you more than anything and don't do anything stupid.

He kissed my forehead and left. He drove off towards his house. I just need to be alone for a while. I went into the bathroom to get out my blades but they weeny there. Shit! Ronnie made me flush them. There is one more option. But I'm not sure if I want to. My life has been shit lately. Me and Ronnie always fight. Derek got in a wreck. My dad is basically not even part of my life anymore. I keep having these thoughts. Bad thoughts. And I can't get them out of my head. I laid in bed and fell asleep.

*1 hour later*

I woke up and checked on Andrea but she wasn't in there. I guess she left. The thoughts were back in my head an worse this time. I ran down stairs. I couldn't stop myself. I opened the medicine cabinet and took some pills. I didn't even know what they were I went upstairs in my bathroom. I laid in the tub and sent Ronnie a message because I knew what I did was wrong and I didn't know what to do.