My Poems

#1

First thing first I really dont name my poems so yeah thats that.

Well here you go, let your mind unwind and read the words from within my mind

My heart is struggling to produce a beat while my lungs are wheezing and crying out for a breath I don't have
Everytime my happiness tries to fix up my abandoned house like self esteem, my sadness throws out the one missing wood slab
My worries like to wrap me up in an asthma attack inducing blanket while my insecurities don't want me to see the ugly truth so they give me a sad smile and cover up my eyes
They create their own vision of what they see in that forsaken mirror and force feed me millions of lies

They restrain me with a ball and chain then scream at me that I will never be enough
This happens every single second, minute and hour of the day and trust me it's always tough
My demons words stain my mind like rebellious teenagers with their awful drawn art on the side of a building
The thoughts, or as they say food for the brain, that they make me think are really not quite filling

My biggest and most haunting fears always think its the best to only show up when moments in my life are at their darkest
But i do have to say that one good thing that came out of it is they sure do make me a damn good artist
A bad habit that I have is that I always listen to my heart instead of my brain
All of these sad memories and tear stained pictures of the past keep swirling around inside me like a never ending hurricane driving me completely insane

My chest aches at the thought of becoming the terrible person I always tell myself I will never be
My train of thought is slowly derailing hoping to find a place where my hopes and dreams can be free
It seems like all i ever do these days is wish my broken wings were healed so i could just fly away
But i know i will never get around to bandaging them up so I just drop my head while i continue to scream and cry begging anyone who will listen to cut me out of this old rusted shut cage

All I want to do is go somewhere far away that's filled to the brim with happiness so i wont have to deal with my stress inducing problems that never cease to make me want to throw my white flag into the air and let out a long overdo "I finally give up"
What a wonderful world it would be to wake up everyday and never once wish you could just close your tired eyes and peacefully die
Maybe one day i will be able to go outside under the warm sun and actually enjoy the experience without those dark thoughts and negative nancy type demons that always seem to follow
But first I will have to come to terms with myself as well as my deep inflicted wounds caused by my issues that have long been bottled up, sealed tight, and buried six feet while having to confront the hard truth that for me has never been easy to swallow

Thank you so so much for staying and reading this (if anyone stayed and actually read this and I appreciate you♡)

I will try and update every other day if im able to so please bear with me. I have the memory of a goldfish haha. Until next time, Byyee Byyee my lovelies ❤

Love ~B.C.~