I sat under the night sky while gazing at the moon. Then I realized, that was the first time that I gazed at it without you. I felt cold. I felt alone. I felt incomplete because you were already a piece of my puzzle.
As I closed my eyes, I felt a tear fell down from my eye then through my cheek. I smiled a bit while my eyes were still closed. I felt relieved. I've finally let my tears out. It's hard. It's hard to stop your tears from falling. It felt like I can possibly explode.
I'm drowning. I'm drowning in my own tears. I'm drowning in my own thoughts. I don't know but it feels like I'm literally drowning and it's so hard for me to breathe. I need oxygen. I need you, my oxygen.
I slowly opened my eyes then again I saw how the stars twinkled and the moon shone stunningly beautiful with it's white-silver beam that glow onto the city, immersing them, illuminating them. It remained my light, you remained my light unto my darkest days.
I tamped the pack of cigarettes, opened it then took one out. I stuck it between my lips then lit it up using my lighter. I inhaled it then removed it from my mouth. I took a deep breath then blew out the smoke. I felt relaxed like what I felt when we kissed. For the second time, I did it again. Third.. fourth, fifth, sixth.. and I lost my count. I did it many times. I miss you, I miss kissing you.
I stood up and felt the wind touching my skin. I raised my hands then I closed my eyes once again. I felt like it's hugging me.
"Babe.. is that you?"
I whispered.
"Bullshit."
I cursed.
I grabbed a canned beer and opened it aggresively. I gazed at the city lights and it made me calm. I took a deep breath and drank the beer all at once. Bitterness stayed on the end of my tongue. Bitterness stayed.
I looked up to the night sky and tears starts to fall again. I still couldn't understand why you took her away from me. I threw my canned beer and stomped on it repeatedly. I took a deep breath again and calmed myself by pressing my palm like she used to do.
I miss her. I miss every moment I was with her. I miss how she comforts me everytime I'm frustrated with everything. I miss her random hugs and kisses. I miss everything..
I looked up again,
"God, why did you took my love away from me?"
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