Vida Joya

Kabanata XI

It's been a longggggggggggg loooooonnnnngggg timeeeee na walang update galing sa lola niyooo. Waaaaah! So I want to say sorry to you guys, for making you wait. I've been really busy these past few weeks at buti nalang naka-abot pa ako sa enrollment. To be honest, I'm still tired, and I hope you understand. Wala kasi akong time to make drafts, dahil sa narrative report and all the paper works regarding our work immersion. Hahaha! Skl, nakakamiss mag-work immersion hehe. Pero eto na talaga, sana maging masaya kayo (dahil masaya na ako kapag masaya kayo) sa update ko. And by the way, I miss you all guys! Walang biro. I miss wattpad. I miss writing. Hihi. So, HAPPY READING!

*°*

Ilang minuto na ang nakalipas at nagsibalik na kami sa kanya kanyang upuan pero nasa utak ko parin ang sinabi ni Troy. What would really halpen if I'll kill myself? Mamamatay na ba talaga ako for real? Anong mangyayari sa mundo kapag namatay ako? Would it be saved? Or mananaig ang kasamaan?

Those questions keep bothering me and so I can't focus on my job, which is to check the files regarding the missing agent Caruso. Kahit anong gawin ko, ay hindi maalis sa isip ko ang mga katagang binitawan ni Troy. Gusto kong sabunutin ang sarili ko dahil hindi talaga ako makapag-focus sa ginagawa ko. When I looked at Troy, he seemed so busy kaya naka-feel ako ng guilt. He's busy yet, I'm doing nothing.

This isn't funny anymore. I forcefully shut my eyes closed and then took a loud breathe. I can't contain the feels. Kailangan kong ilabas ang saloobin ko bago pa man sumabog ang utak ko. I made my way to Troy, who is busy doing his job.

Halatang nagulat siya dahil ilang segundo rin nang napansin niyang nasa tabi na niya ako dahil bahagyang lumaki ng mga mata niya. Siguro ay hindi niya napansing pumunta ako sa gawi niya.

"W-what are you doing here?" aniya.

"I want to k-kill myself, Troy. I want to end this." I said with a giving up tone. That's it, I give up. Hindi ko na kaya ang labang 'to. Siguro nga, naging matapang ako sa una lang. Pero pagdating na sa gitna, wala na. Suko na.

But, I didn't expected his reaction. He just laughed at me na para bang nag-crack ako ng joke sa kanya. I was serious for Pete's sake! Hindi ako nagbibiro, to think na buhay ko ang nakataya do'n!

"You really did take it seriously?" Namamanghang tanong niya. What the-- so after all those times, he's just joking? He's not serious about it? Pero ako namang uto-uto e, nagpauto naman. Great! I'm such a fool. Hindi ko alam na mahirap maging seryoso sa mga taong walang ibang ginawa kundi ang lokohin ka. How unfair.

"Yes, of course! You were serious that time! Hindi ko naman alam na nagj-joke ka lang pala!" Naiinis na bulyaw ko sa kanya. Hindi ko napigilan ang pagtaas ng boses ko dala na siguro ng irita at inis, pati na rin galit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Woah! Chill! Napaka-sungit naman nito. I just cracked a joke! Nothing serious. And why would I or we let you kill yourself? We need you, and the life of this era depends on you so if you kill your own self, you'll gonna kill us all to." Seryoso niyang sambit. Ewan ko kung totoo ba talaga ang mga pinapakita niya. He's sometimes funny, and he has sense of humor. Yes. He's also serious sometimes like hell. But right now, I can't trust his words. Tila nab-bitter ako sa mga sinasabi niya. Baka maloko na naman kasi ako.

After he said those words, I rolled my eyes at him and went on my own space. Hindi ko kayang kausapin siya ngayon. Mainit ang ulo ko at baka kung ano pang maling mga salita ang masabi ko towards him. My mind is still feeling empty right now.

Ilang oras din ang lumipas nang naimulat ko ang mga mata ko. Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog pala ako. It was already eight in the evening, and yet wala pa akong natatapos. No improvement on my work. Nakakahiya.