Spectrum Of A Rainbow ✔

Chapter Six

Before the bus arrived at her stop, Felicitas had the time to create an account on Tumblr, the site Omid had talked about. She even has the time to search for blogs like the ones Omid told her about. It isn't hard to find them and she started following a few. As she got home she took a closer look on the blogs she followed and found some news ones too. One of the blogs she found answered a lot of questions, so she decided to send an anonymous question. She asks about how you know if you're bisexual and how to separate platonic and romantic feelings toward friends. As if on cue Felix stepped inside her apartment when she pressed send. He had a key to her apartment as well as she had one to his apartment, they never rang the doorbell. In fact she can't remember when they stopped doing that, it was way before they moved out, their parents saw them as an extra family member.

"Hello!" He calls out from the hallway. "I brought food!" When he says he has food Felicitas is quick on her feet to meet him in the hallway.

"What kind of food?" She asks, as excited as a dog when presented with a treat.

"Well, it's vegan lasagne, your favorite." He said and she jumped with excitement until he raised a finger and added "though we need to cook it."

"Ugh, fine." She pouted, she loved eating food but she hated making it. "But next time bring something we don't have to cook." She pointed her finger at him with a serious face.

"Of course" he laughed thought they both knew it wouldn't happen. Felix loved cooking, which worked great for Felicitas since she didn't have to do much when they cooked, she only worked as an assistant which was a little better than being the cook. As they prepare the food she fills him in on what she and Omid had talked about and admitted that she felt confused. That before the meeting she'd been so sure, she was straight and not gay, she was attracted to men. She's still sure that she's not gay but was she really straight? Or was she, like Omid, bisexual?

"I'm not you and I can't tell you what you feel. But, I think that it sounds pretty fitting, you know?" Felix says as he puts the lasagna in the oven. "I'll admit that I don't really know a lot about bisexuality, though it sounds like Omid and the people on that website does."

"It's called Tumblr." She interrupts him and he just shakes his head.

"Yes, the people on Tumblr." He corrected and rolled his eyes. "Just, remember that it's okay to not know. That you're allowed all the time you need to figure out who you are and that I'll stand with you 100% the entire way and help the best I can." Even though it might not seem as much, his words really comforted her. She knew in her heart that he would never judge her, that he wouldn't be like the others from when she was young and say that it's not a real thing. However, deep down, she'd still had a fear that he would, he was the most important person in her life and having his support meant everything.

"Thank you for being so understanding." She says, giving him a hard hug.

"Anytime." He smiled and hugged her back. With that they dropped the subject and spent some time talking about life in general. Felicitas told Felix about how she'd started seeing Alejandro again and that he was still pretty but not smarter. A comment that made Felix laugh. He then told her about the disastrous dinner he'd had with his girlfriends parents. It was just a nice normal dinner which was nice to have before going to work.

As she sat down on the bus heading to work, she picked up her phone and checked Tumblr. To her surprise she sees that the blog had already answered her question. Her heart beat a little faster as she clicked on the response and started reading it.

Hi, anon!

It can be a little tricky to figure out your sexuality sometimes and ONLY you can define it. But the definition of bisexuality is "a person that's attracted to two or more genders" so if you feel like that fits you, then you're bisexual, if not, there's a lot of other choices that's not straight or gay.

As for your other questions it's a tough one. After thinking about it a little I'd say that how you see the difference between platonic and romantic is that, when it's romantic you want to be near the person more and theirs etc is a little (or way more) better than others. You can feel a little (or again very) jealous if this person is with someone else, especially in a romantic way (not speaking about polyamorous relationships). Then there's also the part where you think of the person as beautiful and if you're not asexual, you might have some sexual thoughts about this said person. Sometimes it's a really thin line between this romantic feeling and strong platonic feelings and it can be very difficult to separate them.

Hope this helps and thanks for your question!

She reads through the response a couple of times and it brings her calm. This is the third person telling her that it's okay to be confused, that it's normal and it's indeed hard to know sometimes. She's still not sure why she dislikes Josef, if it's because of jealousy or if she just don't click with him. Not to talk about if she's crossed the line between platonic and romantic feelings. Despite not being sure, despite not having more answers then this morning, her mind feels calmer. Everything doesn't feel as heavy anymore and she had no problem focusing on her work. She even fell asleep as soon as she got home, something she hadn't been able to do in a long time.

Felicitas spends about a week and a half reading posts on Tumblr and talking to Omid. She's stopped the partying and with that stopped talking to Alejandro. She kept getting amazing advice from other people on Tumblr and everyone presses that it's important for her to take her time, that it's perfectly alright not to know right away. It was overwhelming having this support from strangers even though it felt like she'd known them for years after a couple of days. Especially this one girl she talked to all day, every day, they both worked as bartenders and dreamed of opening their own bar. They joked about opening one together, just moving to Miami and start a business together. Though neither of them had the money to do so, it sounded like a great plan, it would be a lot easier to start if you were a team. They even talked about countries like Greece or Spain, just moving there to start their own bar. However, this girl, Kim, also helped Felicitas to straighten out thoughts, sending her links to good posts she found. Kim was a really big part in Felicitas figuring out her feelings. So when the week and a half has passed she calls Omid, inviting him over. She had finally figured this mess out and she felt that Omid should be the first one to know, after all none of this would've been possible without him. When she heard the doorbell ring, she took a deep breath before going to open it. This was it.