self-confidence . || usuk

Four/

Arthur hadn't spoken to Alfred since that day, with the BBT. How many days had it been? Two? Three? Arthur lost track. Arthur had been avoiding him, or maybe Alfred was avoiding Arthur. Every time they passed in the hall, Alfred would never say anything to him, let alone look at him. It made Arthur sick.

Maybe it was just to make him look good.

He never was interested in you in the first place.

Get over yourself, he's not coming back.

The only thing coming back were those terrible voices in the back of Arthur's head.

After Alfred, he had swung back into his previous position of self hatred. It just got worse. And worse and worse and worse.

Arthur was sent home from the nurses office on a Tuesday afternoon. His hand was wrapped tightly in bandages— his hand turned pale. His oldest brother, Allistor, was the one who came to pick him up. He glared at Arthur's bandages.

"What the hell did you do this time?"

"I punched a mirror."

"You punched a— bloody hell, Arthur, what for?!"

"I hated the way I looked in it, so I punched it."

Allistor groaned, and swore under his breath. He was thinking really hard about the fines he would have to pay to the school for this. "You're pathetic."

And that was the last thing he said to him since the drive home.

Arthur didn't want to go back to school after the mirror punching fiasco. He didn't go back for weeks. No one was forcing him to go, since nobody seemed to care, like always. Arthur sighed. Life was boring without doing anything, but, in a way, he enjoyed the time to himself.

Until there was a knock at his door. Allistor answered it, and told him that a dumb American was here to see him. Arthur didn't feel so hot after the announcement.

Alfred.

"Hey dude," Alfred was smiling as he walked in, but he was cautious, like he was trying to sneak into the vault without touching any wires. Arthur was curled up sitting on the edge of his bed. He didn't want visitors at this moment. "You've missed a few weeks of school. Wanted to see what was up. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine.," was all that Arthur said.

"Great... great." Alfred took a glance at Arthur's blood soaked bandages. He could tell that his wound wasn't properly being taken care of. He put on a fake smile and pointed at it, pretending he didn't know what happened. Of course he knew what happened. That bathroom in that hall was closed for two days. And everyone else knew, but nobody said a name. But Alfred knew it was him. It had Arthur's name written all over it.

Arthur didn't even look at the bandages. He didn't want to be reminded of his stupidity. "Do you seriously not know? Are you that dense, Jones?"

"I seriously don't know, Arthur."

Arthur hesitated, but then it all came out, spilling like an overflowing bathtub. "I punched a mirror."

Alfred cringed, both intentionally and unintentionally. "Yikes. That's rough."

"... Do... do you not want to know why?"

Arthur was fishing for Alfred's attention. He was fishing for his sympathy. He craved it, in fact. Weeks without him was terrible. Alfred could yell at him for an hour for Christ's sake, and he'd love it and accept it fully. He missed him.

But Alfred just shook his head. "Nope. Not really. Its your business, I don't need to be in it."

Arthur's mood quickly dropped. "Alright."

Then they went silent. For a very long time. For Arthur it was comforting, because he just wanted to know that Alfred was there, but for Alfred, however, it stung. He knew that Arthur wasn't okay, in a sense. He was hurting, in pain, nobody cared about him. He punched a mirror, and all he got was some cloth bandages over it. Like the hell?

"Let's do something fun, Artie."

Arthur looked at Alfred like he was absolutely insane— which he, in fact, was. "What?"

"You heard me," Alfred smiled his famous crooked smile, inching closer to Arthur's bed. "You've been cooped up in his house for how long now? C'mon, lets get away for once."

Arthur sat there. Just sat there. It was sudden. It didn't feel right. But Alfred was looking out for him. Thinking about his well being, maybe. Warming up to him enough to be his friend, perhaps. And that's what Arthur needed right now.

"Fine. Let me get my coat."

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its the update yall (havent) been waiting for!! thx for your patience && i'll try to update soon. so,, is this a date or what?? 🤔🤔 alfred got the homo for artie we done knew,, how very,,,