The Dark Side of His Room ~ #Jalex (boxboy)

25. Ground Control

*** ALEX'S POV ***

We're over.

Think Alex, think. He could have texted the wrong person. But then why would he be over with someone else? Would he cheat? He could be playing a joke. What if he's talking about something we spoke about earlier? Questions swarmed my head as anxiety welled up inside me. I texted him asking "What?" but got no response. I was filled with nerves, frantically attempting to call him and get to him, but I was sent straight to voicemail every single fucking time. At that point I understood. I understood everything. He didn't want me anymore. He never did.

And That's when I broke down. He used me. Used me like a toy, just the way Eva did. Maybe that's what I was born for. To be fucked around with. To be used. I collapsed in a a heap on the floor in my living room, sliding down the couch and curling up in a ball, tears falling freely as I screamed. I toppled over to my side, pulling at my hair and screaming until I couldn't breathe any longer. My breathing was getting shallower and shallower, I was starting to become numb, I couldn't feel my hair being tugged out, I couldn't feel my throat which should have been sore from my screaming, I couldn't feel anything besides the fast rising and falling of my breath that I wasn't even trying to get under control anymore. I heard a door slam shut and my mum call out but I couldn't move. I couldn't get up, respond, all I could do was lie there, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Alex?" My mum asked, her voice flooded with concern as she came into the living room, following the sounds of the breaths and sobs. "Oh my- honey!" She gasped, crouching down at my side and enveloping me in a hug. "What's wrong? Come here," she said. I opened my eyes, watching her lip tremble and her hair fall out from behind her ears and over her face as she towered over me, slipping her hands under my body and lifting me to the couch. "Come on honey, put your feet on the floor. Whatever is making you anxious, imagine it being on the floor, press your feet into it, as if you want to crush the reason you're anxious to make it go away, that's it," she soothed, rubbing her hand up and down my arm and I pressed my feet into the ground, imaging I was stepping on Jack and the way he used me. "Count your breaths. 1, 2, that's right." I could feel myself relaxing now. My mum always knew what to do, more than anyone. She knew that giving me ground control helped a lot, she'd been helping with my attacks ever since they started. It took a good 15 minutes to get me to fully calm down, and though I was exhausted, I told her what happened.

"The fucking dick. I can't even speak to Joyce about it because she's an ass," she sighed. Come on, let's watch something." She was smiling as I curled into her side, the blanket she grabbed me draped over my shoulder and my legs curled up underneath me. I'd missed movie nights with my mum, we'd not had many since Jack was with me almost all the time.

*

"Zac Efron is hot," mumbled my mum, her mouth full of popcorn. We sat beside each other with blankets draped over our shoulders and bowls of popcorn in our laps, eyes glued to the TV.

"Agreed," I responded, not taking my eyes off the screen. We were intently watching all of the High School Musicals, drooling over Mr. Efron. "You know what mum, I don't need Jack, I don't need a boyfriend. Though Zac Efron would make a good one."

"I like having a son that likes boys, we can gossip like this and I love that, how do people complain about gay kids what the hell," she chucked stealing some of my popcorn.

"Hey! Hands off! You chose toffee popcorn and thats your own fault!" I laughed, slapping her hand away.

"Aw but I want some sweet and salted," she pouted. I rolled my eyes, giving in and reaching the bowl out for her to grab a handful. She made me forget about Jack for the night as we chatted about High School Musical and some of her high school boyfriends, with me giggling at how stupid some of her incidents in high school were.

"Honey, I'll take the day off work tomorrow okay? You shouldn't be in school for at least a day, I don't want your anxiety to be seeping out of your pores while you try to work," she half smiled. I suddenly felt a vibration in my pocket and I don't think I'd ever pulled my phone out that fast. My face dropped when I realised it was just Ashley, not Jack. I slid my finger across the screen, answering the phone call and putting the phone to my hear.

"Alex!! I'm so sorry I didn't reply earlier. What a fucking ass! I'm taking the day off tomorrow too then and spending it with you!" she started rambling, responding to the million textsI'd sent her earlier. "Am I hearing high school musical?" she asked after pausing mid sentence.

"Yes, I'm watching it with my mum, so I've gotta get going, we're drooling over Zac here," I chuckled.

"You're so gay," she laughed, probably rolling her eyes on the other end of the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow." She ended the call and I threw my phone across the couch, forgetting it's presence.

"Mum, Ash will come over tomorrow so you can got to work," I smiled at her. "I'll be fine," I groaned after she started rambling about how I needed her.

"Okay honey," she finally sighed in defeat, kissing my temple. I went to bed around midnight, after I started falling asleep on my mum. I was pretty exhausted after the emotional wreck I went through earlier. I quickly changed into a sweatshirt and some plaid pyjama pants, and I was about to go to bed when something caught my eye. I hadn't yet realised that my window actually looked out onto Jacks bedroom window, meaning I could look over and see exactly what he was doing. I peeked through the window, seeing a light on in his room. He was sat on the bed, his head buried in his hands, softly sobbing.

He was crying? How dare he? He was the one who broke my heart. I pulled down my blinds angrily, and turned my light off, heading to bed, to forget about this goddamn mess. It didn't take long for my eyes to feel heavy and for me to drift off to an uneasy sleep.