If Love Was Real

Chapter 6- The truth

 Thank you so much @Ihaveniamfeels for the amazing cover you made for me! I love it so much and it would be so hard for somebody to top this one! If you want a amazing new cover....ask her for it!

 Play song at side when I tell you to!!!!

Anyways....hey guys!!!! I am now gonna be updating more often and I feel really good about it! I hope you like this chapter...I think it's really emotional.I hope you enjoy! AND I DO NOT RE-READ MY CHAPTERS SO THERE WILL BE MISTAKES!!!

*Hanan's P.O.V*

Jacqueline and the guys left not to long ago. So now I'm just sitting on my red and black mini sofa in my room waiting for my mom to come home from work. I'm really nervous about this. What if she knows that I have eating disorders? My life would be hell. Not that it isn't now. I live for One Direction, but they don't know that. Without them I wouldn't be here. They actually saved my fucking life. Without them and without music I wouldn't be here. They give me a reason to live, a reason to try, and a reason to keep moving forward no matter what the hell is in my way. I can't explain to you how they have changed my life. I go to sleep every night just hoping I don't wake up in the morning! It's not that I want to die, it's just that if I die then there will be no more pain, hurt, lies, struggle, and feelings. I want to end the pain all in one moment. I don't actually look forward to dying. I look forward to being pain free. I'm fat, ugly, annoying, stupid, weird, and so much more I can't even remember anymore!

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I sit here and wait. The cool air blows through my hair. The sound of tree leaves brushing together surrounds me. I try not to think about my choice. It hurts to think about what might happen after. A sharp pain goes through my stomach. I could tell it wasn't hunger pains. I get that a lot when I'm suicidal. I could hear the sound of birds sinning. It was beautiful. I was glad that I could leave being surrounded by beauty. I sit here and wait. I could now hear the sound of a train in the distance. I got up and walked over to the track and sat back down in the center of it. I waited once again. The sound of the train got louder and louder. I closed my eyes and thought of my favorite memory I had. I could feel the ground rumble and shake as the train got closer. I herd the train whistle as it was now not far from me. I waited for it. It was now only a few meters away from me now. Before I knew it everything went black.

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I woke up to the sound of somebody knocking at my door. I was shaking and was all sweaty. It was all just a dream. I must have fallen asleep when I was thinking to myself in my comfy chair. My mom walked in and looked mad.

"You left the front door unlocked! Do you know what could have happened! Somebody could have broken into the house! Why would you do something so stupid! You could have gotten hurt! We could have gotten robbed!" She yelled at me.

"Calm down it was only for like an hour! Like you haven't forgotten something like that! Why do you get so worked up over nothing! You don't have to call me stupid! You wouldn't even care if I was kidnapped!" I yelled back. I ran downstairs and quickly grabbed my house keys from my bag and ran outside slamming the door shut and not locking it. I couldn't believe how my mom acted! It's so dumb sometimes. I got my skateboard from the garage, put on my helmet and skated to Jacqueline's house. I was thinking about going to the skate park for a little while because that's where I like to go during times like this. I'm lucky that my best friend lives just down the street because I can get to her house in under three minutes! I arrived at her house and jumped off my skate bored. I picked it up and walked to her front porch and rang her doorbell. After a minute she answered with a smile on her face.