Believe || langst

chapter 6

I never wanted my friends to know about my secret. I know that they would treat me different. They wouldn't want to be my friend no more. They would think i was really bad messed up. I dont want to lose my friends. The night we all was having fun is now turning awful because of a stupid accident.

Keith is the first one to figure out this secret of mine.

After he ask what happen I didn't know how to respond. I just froze in my place. "lance I said what happened!" He said coming a little closer. "m-my c-cat." I stutter. That the worst thing i can ever make up. "lance you dont even have a cat. now tell me the real reason you have those awful cut on your wrist!"He kinda yelled that last part so I just stay quiet. I dont want to tell him. I can tell that he is worried.

"lance come on please tell me what happened." I can hear the worry in his voice. I start to tear up. "m-myself" after saying that I dont think that i can look him in the face. "lance..... why would you do this to yourself." I can hear sadness in his voice. "b-because." I just still keep quite after saying that. Should i tell him? I think I should. I decide that i should tell him even though i might lose him as a friend.

When i was about to tell him the door swings open. It was shiro. This got twice as bad now.

"I cleaned up the mess." We both froze in are place. Shiro looks at the both of us. When he see me he has a worried look on his face. "lance did that coffee burn you bad that your almost about to cry?" he ask me. "um... yeah shiro it did." I say. "I'm so sorry lance. Let me check your arms to make sure there not burnt." He says walking closer to me.

I try to hide my arms behind my back so he can't see them and started to step away from him. "Shiro I promise that the coffee didn't burn me that bad. You don't have to check my arms." I say giving him a fake smile.he stops right by keith. Keith is starring straight at the ground. "Are you sure? If it hurts I can go get something for it." He says. "Nope I don't." I say to him. He doesnt look convinced. Keith looks up.

"Lance your not all right." Keith says in a sad voice. "W-why would you say that Keith. I am alright!" I'm starting to panic. I really dont want shiro to know but Keith will tell him or make me tell him. "Then show shiro your arms. If your alright." He look me straight in the eyes but then I look at the ground. It look like I have to show shiro.

"Lance please show me." I wait I for a few seconds. I have to show him. I put my arm to my side before showing him. Then I show him.

He looks at my arms. I can't stand to look at his face. He study's my cut up arms before saying any thing. "Lance. Did you do this to yourself." His voice is so sad to here. The tears i was trying to hold back are now flowing like a water fall. "Y-yes I did." I say still not looking at him. "Why. Why would you do this to yourself?"

I just stay silent. I don't want to tell them why. I'm ashamed that I have done this to myself but I will have to or they won't leave me alone about it.

"Lance please tell me why you have done this to yourself." Shiro says in a calm voice. "I hate myself. There is voice in my head that tells me that I'm worthless. It says that your friends are just pretending that they like you. I believe every word it says" I wipe away my tears then look at shiro and Keith. "I'm so sorry that I'm an awful friend. I'm sorry I'm a mistake. I'm sorry I didn't tell you all about this before. I just don't want to lose you all."

After say that I just sit on the toilet sobbing. Shiro and Keith is just standing there with sad look on there face. I just cover my eyes.

I here foot steps walking over to me. I uncover my eyes and look who they belong to. Its Keith. "Lance stand up." He says really quiet. I'm afraid what he is about to say or do but I do stand up.

He grabs my shoulder and looks me straight in the eyes. "Lance your not a mistake or a awful friend. Your one of the best friends I have ever had. If someone here is an awful friend its us. We didn't know that you felt or have done this to yourself. We should have notice and got you some help. I'm sorry. I promise that you won't lose me. I would never want to lose a great friend like you" he gives me a tiny smile.

After he says that he pulls me into a hug. I hug him back and just sob more.

Then shiro comes and hugs me to. "Lance I'm sorry to. Your a great friend and im awful for not to notice. I should have help you but I will try to help you now. Please never do this to your self again.."

We just stay there hugging for a few moments. Then I pull away. " thank you." I say to them with a little smile. " I just wanna say that you all are the best." I say to them and they smile at me.

Before we did any thing else shiro said something. "Lance you need to clean those cuts." Shiro says. "I have things to clean them up with in my room but pidge and hunk is in there. I'm afraid that they might wake up though." I hate to ask for one of them to go get it but I ain't going to risk hunk and pidge being awake. I don't feel like telling them right now. "Shiro I hate to ask but could you go get supplies and me a jacket out of my room." " sure I will!" Then he heads up stairs to my room.

As we wait for shiro to get back Keith ask me something. "How long have you done this to yourself?" I hate that he asked that question. "I have been for about a year now." I went a year and now you two have just figure it out. I don't want you all to figure it out today when we all was having fun. "When are you gonna tell hunk and pidge?" "I don't know but not today. Maybe next week." I don't want to tell them but they must know.

Shiro is now back with the stuff. "Here you go lance." He then gives all the stuff to me. "Would you like for us to get out for you to fix yourself up?" "Yes." Then they go out of the bathroom.

I fix up my wrist first then I put a new shirt on. Thankfully shiro brought a long sleeve shirt. I hate long sleeve shirts especially in the summer but if I didnt have them on then everyone would see my arm. That would be bad.

After pick up all my stuff I walk out of the bathroom. I don't see shiro or Keith so they probably went back up to my room so I head up there. When I walk in see them. They are on the floor were they were before. "Sorry we didn't tell you we were coming back to your room." Shiro says. "Its alright. I need to go put this stuff back in the bathroom then I will be in here." I go to the bathroom and put the stuff back.

I go and sit back on the bed carfuly not to wake pidge. "I will put voltron back on but I think I'm going to go to sleep." I say to shiro and Keith. "I think I am to." Keith says. I know he would cause he was half asleep when we was last up here. " I will just watch some voltron until i get sleepy." Shiro says.

I grab the extra blanket at the end of the bed. Then I move my pillow over a little to make sure I aint on pidges side of the bed. I put the blanket over me and lay down ready to go to sleep.

Before I go to sleep I think about what just happen. The secret I have been hiding is now out. The things they said about me not being a mistake and a good friend is not true. I know it is not. I hope that when they said they won't leave me is true. Before going to sleep I think about how hunk and pidge would say. I hope when I tell them they won't leave me. Then I fall a sleep.

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Sorry again that you all had to wait long for this chapter but I hope you all like it! Also thanks for 800+ reads on this! I never thought it would get that many. Thanks a lot!