My Confession

The Dinner

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I'm sitting in class one row behind Tori and two seats to her left. I wonder what tonight really means. Tori just came out with her parents and they invited me to dinner at their house.

I won't deny that I'm nervous, I never imagined that just two months after we started dating I would have to introduce myself as her girlfriend with her parents. I think it's too early to have such a serious relationship. I mean, Tori and I are fine like this, it's the two of us, we don't have to answer to anyone. Everyone knows about us in my house and they are supportive and if we want some privacy we go there.

Tori and I talked a bit before leaving the janitor's closet. She made me promise that I would behave and avoid any confrontation with her family. I hope not to disappoint her; my temper is very volatile, I know.

Now I stare at her and remember what I started to feel when I used to look at her from this seat a few months ago only. I thought I could hide my feelings treating her like crap and pretending that I hated her, but I really couldn't resist her silly smile and her haunting voice; what I hated most was to participate with her in Sikowitz's plays where I had to be her wife or husband because it reality unnerved me saying I love you.

I hide my emotions very well with people, but the truth is that only Tori and Beck have the privilege of knowing my soft side.

I'm worried about tonight. She wants her parents to have a good impression of me. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my temper down if I see her like she has been for the last few days, depressed, hurt, confused.

I love her, I just want her to be happy, to have that incredible smile that accentuates her cheekbones. Those I fell in love with.

I'm also nervous because I know the Vegas, I've been in their house many times before and since Tori and I started dating, but this time is different, I'll be there as her girlfriend. I'm sure they think I drove her to this, that perhaps I forced her, after all I'm the bad girl and Tori is the perfect daughter. I don't know, but I'm sure they blame me.

I look at her and I only see a broken girl, she is probably more scared than I am. I need to be strong for her and do what she asked of me.

Finally school is over. Usually I would've given Tori a ride home and talk about our day but Trina wanted to make sure Tori didn't arrive home alone, so we part ways at the school parking lot.

"Everything will be all right Vega, I'm sure," I look at her and smile, I can't help it, I love Tori. I walk over and give her a little kiss before they get in Trina's car and go home.

I enter my car and make my way to the flower shop. I really don't know what I'm doing, it's not my style to arrive anywhere with a gift but I really wanted to please my girlfriend and make a good impression.

Holly, Tori's Mom, has an extensive garden that she keeps very carefully, so I think I could please her with this little detail. I carefully seek a plant that I haven't seen there, something that makes clear my interest in carrying the party in peace and show my respect for her and her home.

After searching, not less than forty minutes, I buy a nice potted plant, a Peace Lily that the florist recommended. According to her it helps to harmonize conflicts and heal negative places, people and relationships. I hope so or I'll hammer one of my fingers.

I leave that place and head home in a rush to prepare for tonight. I drive in automatic mode, I don't even know how I got here, I kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong and looking for ways to keep my composure.