My Confession

10 Years Later

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A/N This is the last chapter in this little story. I hope you like it. Here we go!
Is noon and I'm sitting in my usual park bench enjoying some of the Los Angeles’ sunshine. I breathe the air around me and get lost in my mind as I contemplate the two greatest and most perfect loves in this world.

Ten years have passed since we graduated high school; it seems like yesterday.
I still remember everything that Jade and I went through that last year in Hollywood Arts, when we started our relationship, when I finally came out of the closet and also, the first time I got help for my self-esteem problems.

I'm not going to lie; it was the most difficult thing I've gone through. After that talk with Jade at the viewpoint that morning, things got way worse before they got better.
My family was all over me all the time, of course, they were scared I would hurt myself, but the intensity got the best of me.

Jade sometimes would take my side and other times she would shift to theirs, it was exhausting. This probably lasted around six months of constant therapy and arguments; all of the sudden I was graduating and everything had changed.

I don't know exactly how it happened, but my parents started trusting me more and giving me back my freedom. I'm sure Jade had much to do with that, her conviction and support gave me strength to continue, it made me happy and my parents noticed. Eventually, she became someone very dear to my family.

I remember once, my father came and asked about her because we were so busy studying for finals she hadn't shown up for days. He was worried we had broken up and he sat by my side on my bed and told me that he loved her very much and he hoped everything was okay between us.

Although Jade wanted to deny it, she developed a close relationship with my parents and sister, that made me feel safe. I had something very similar with her Mom, her father always had reservations with me. We both learned to interact with each other's families and for the first time, I began to believe I could have everything that a heterosexual couple has, no limits or questions. Everything felt absolutely normal.

Jade and I had a perfect relationship for the rest of the school year, we became allies, we helped each other in Sikowitz's plays, sang together in concerts at the Asphalt Café and dreamed about our future. From one moment to another, it was time to think about University, and we knew we would have a long and difficult road to walk. Jade went to one of the best Universities in the country, to study Creative Writing and Cinematography NY. Her dream always was to become a great writer and producer. She also got, right away, a role in a Broadway musical.

I, in the other hand, I got a record deal and stayed in Los Angeles. I toured with both of my albums for three years before I could settle down again.

I wonder where Jade is now, we broke up about a year after graduating. Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. She would get so jealous and we would end up fighting every time we picked up the phone or had a video chat. In the end, even if we loved each other as much as we did, we had to let each other go, because the pressure and the pain was turning into hate and I wouldn't have been able to deal with Jade hating me.

It was a summer day and I was starting to get ready lo leave on tour, I was excited but torn by what it would mean for our relationship. I wouldn't have time to call her as much as before, to make dates in the evenings and see each other at least on a computer screen, she would further hesitate over us, of who was with me and why.

I didn’t want to do it and it took me several days to decide to call her and ask how she felt about it. I always convinced myself that it was still worth it, that in due time things would get better and it was only a matter of time to be together again. But nothing improved and the distance increasingly affected us.
When I finally reached out to her, we realized that everything had changed too much, we couldn't keep on trying and force something that just wasn't working anymore.