Touched by the Fear

[3]

The day had come to an end and Hollis stood by her locker, gathering her things. The remainder of the school day had been uneventful, save for Carter who kept his distance from her. She had tried to talk to him several times but he either ignored her or walked away when she started to talk. After a few tries, she had given up.

Closing the locker, she turned to find Carter behind her.

"You scared me," she laughed nervously. One look at his face caused her laughter to end. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I'm just... preoccupied."

A humorless laugh escaped his lips, his dark eyes trained on her. "That's nothing new, Hollis." His voice was bitter, just like the expression he wore.

"I know." Closing her eyes, she let out an audible sigh. "So, what did you want to talk about?" She changed the subject, praying that an argument wouldn't erupt. The day had gone well thus far and ruining it with a fight wasn't something she wanted to do. Especially one with Carter. She knew they weren't on the best terms right now but she hoped to avoid confrontation all the same.

"This." He motioned to himself and Hollis. Without waiting for her to react, he continued. "It feels like you've been avoiding me all summer. We hardly talk or go out and...I don't know, Hollis. It feels like you don't want me around anymore."

"That's not true, Carter!" His expression told her that he didn't believe her. Hollis reached for his hand and looked up at him. "I know I've been distant lately, and I'm really sorry." She glanced down at their hands and opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Hollis wanted to assure him that he was wrong but was he? "I guess I'm still trying to get my life back together. I want everything to feel normal again. The last few months have been..." Biting her lower lip, she shrugged. "But that's no excuse for shutting you out. I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, he put both hands on her arms. The angry look on his face softened as he studied her. "No, I get it. I just...miss you, that's all."

"I miss you, too." Hollis did miss him. She missed how everything used to be, how normal everything had felt. Now all that she was left with was a jumbled mess of what had been.

"Maybe you should come to the party on Friday, Hollis." Seeing the horrorstruck look on her face, he held up a hand to keep her from interrupting. "Being surrounded by your friends might just be what you need. It'll be fun and it beats staying home surrounded by homework...alone."

A party was the last place that she wanted to be at yet it was something normal for her to do. Normality was the one thing that she strived for amongst the craziness of her life. Hollis tilted her head, thinking his words over. A few silent seconds passed before she nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. "Alright. You talked me into it," she answered with a laugh before she was pulled into a hug. She relaxed and leaned against him. For a minute, things seemed almost normal, comfortable. She missed this. Reluctantly, she pulled back and looked up at him. "I should go find Lydia and Allison."

He nodded, loosening his grip on her. "I'll see you later," he said with that familiar smile she loved.