Dark Chocolate Poetry

Premonition Askew

I sit alone as the darkness calls to me preyin on my insecurities those little things I try to keep locked up my ability to see the bad things that will happen before they happen keeps me agile in lifes silly game but I am still unable to avoid the outcome. How doth divine ignorance pass me by like leaves on blacktop as they sway flittering away. I wanna hear you say things that matter yet you stay silent till the last moment shattering all but intensified emotions. Abused once before more mental than physical but theres no difference when its done to you. I replay the days of a weaker human and often revert back to she who shall remain unseen unheard unloved. It is not my destiny to be that but I struggle to keep my heart in the light illuminated by thoughts of freedom from depression. I have many masks all displayed yet all unseen to be anything more or less would surely mean the death of my ability to love unconditionally. But complacency is not a way of life so why do I feel like a beautiful blooming tree rooted in a desert with rainfalling once a month?? Why do I have to be the one who braves the uncertain time and time again to donn the armor and adopt the persona of a knight righteous in everyway. Why do I feel like no matter what I do I am destined to fail regardless of path chosen. Inside my head vast oceans of thought swarm around till im drowning being pulled into the depths of volatile emotions waiting for someone to care for me enough to dive in and breathe life into my hot carcass of a heart. All I want is a chance to be a better human there is no fault in admitting you need help so why when I ask my plee goes unheard unwanted and unseen?? Solitary in my fight from start to finish and no matter what I will overcome the darkness I dont need anyone else to save me but I do need someone to love me for me. Until that happens I shall remain as I have always been. A knight for others an ear to listen a mouth to speak a shoulder to cry on a jester to make you smile a nurturing soul who cares not for her own wellbeing but should.