Love Under Parasols

Thunderstorm

Wind blows through my hair, making it dance. Like the usual, I'm sitting on the hood of the company's car, eyes closed and head tilted upwards, feeling the coldness of the night.

We haven't talked. Jeongyeon and I. Ever since the four of us, me, Chewy, her and Hyerin got face to face, she hasn't gone to my dorm apartment. I miss her but maybe it was for the better. I guess they're dating now. If holding hands, linking arms together, and spending time in an art museum doesn't count as dating, then God forbid me because it's bullshit.

"Found you," Chewy said, sitting beside me and handing me a beer.

"How can you even find me in almost everywhere I go?" I chuckled and drank what she gave me.

Chewy put her jacket around me and smiled, "I'll always find you, Princess. No matter where you go."

I looked at my watch, "Took you two hours to find me today. Yesterday it was an hour and a half."

"You're at a cliff three hours away from Gangnam, genius."

I laughed and rested my head on her shoulder, "Thank you. I don't know how many times have I said it but you're always rescuing me."

"I told you, I won't let them see you hurt. Or let you see things that can hurt you," Chewy held my hand and drew circles on them. "Always."

"I'm tired," I complained. Chewy laughed softly and gave me food, as always. "You always give me what I need."

"Momo, I'm what you need, actually," she said. I smiled at her.

I know, Tzuyu. I know.

"You can't leave me too. I've had too many people leaving me already," she hummed in agreement and played with my fingers. "You can ask me a favor and I will grant it if I can."

"Not now. When the time is right," she pulled me up and made me stand, "Let's go home? I'll drop you off."

"What about the car?" I pointed at the company car.

"My driver's on the way. He'll bring it back to your manager's place and give the key to her," she opened the passenger door and gestured me to get it. "Come on, Princess. Let me drive you back to your castle," she joked with a bow.

"You'll always find me, right?" I asked her again while she was driving. She nodded, "Even if I'm somewhere else, you'll find me?"

"It'll take a while but I will," she stopped the car and looked at me, "I don't like the sound of this. You won't leave, Momo. Not now when I..." she looked at the road again and drove.

I'm running out of time

—

Chewy dropped me off my building. She even stepped out of her car and walked me to the entrance. "I'll see you around, okay?" she tries to confirm.

I nodded, "Of course."

She hugged me tightly, like I was going to vanish, "Don't disappear on me, Momo. Please," she whispered. I returned Chewy's hug and nodded again. She let me go and kissed my forehead, much to my surprise. "Don't make me look around the city again, hmm?"

I got inside my unit and removed all my clothes. I went inside the bathroom and took a shower, letting the cold water run through my body. After that, I wore my pajamas and went to bed.

It is three freaking in the morning! Who the hell is ringing my doorbell?!

I got up and went to the door, opened it only to find a staring Jeongyeon in front of me, "Jeong, it's three am, what do you want?"

"Who is she?" she asked in a dead tone.

"What?"

"Who is she?!" she yelled at me. I took a step back and stared at her. Why the hell is she mad?

"I don't understand what you're talking about," Jeongyeon stepped inside and slammed the door.

"Are you sleeping with her too?" she glared at me with eyes flaming. "Answer me!!"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about!" I started tearing up, scared of how mad she is right now.

"You and that girl! Are you two sleeping?!" she ran her fingers through her hand.

I snapped, "Why are you even mad? It's not like I ask you to stop sleeping with that girl you've been loving since you were a kid!" I shouted, tears falling.

"You leave Hyerin out of this!" she yelled. I took another step back and sighed in frustration. "Do I not satisfy you? Do you want more sex? Tell me!"

"I'm not sleeping with her! Are you that numb and clueless and dumb?! I can't even like someone else! You're so unfair!" I shouted, finally releasing the sob I've been holding back. "I never slept with anyone! Never kissed anyone! Never even looked at anyone! Because I only slept with you, kissed you, even my thoughts are all you!"

I covered my face with my hands. Why is she like this? Why is she mad? I didn't even do something wrong. "Days turned weeks and turned months, and I only thought of you. I made you the center of my universe. I gave you everything you could ever want from me."

Jeongyeon just stared at me, "Do you not feel anything for me?" I looked at her, hopeful.

"I told you before, I like spending time with you," she said as she turned around. "Fix yourself."

"Jeongyeon, don't leave. Please," I cried out. She continued walking and opened the door, "I love you." She stopped.

"I never asked you to."

"What does she have that I don't?" I asked her. "What can I do?"

She looked at me with cold eyes, "You'll never be Hyerin."

She left. She left me. And this time, she won't come back.

I cried and cried until my eyes could not produce any more tears. It came to a point where I couldn't even breathe anymore.

This can't be. I can't be like this. My parents did not raise me to be like this.

I stood up and packed my bags. Maybe time has ran out. Yes, time's over. I grabbed my laptop and booked the earliest flight home. And it's not in Japan. I also grabbed my phone and called Bora-unnie, when she didn't answer, I left her a voice note.

"I'll be gone for a while, Unnie. I will tell you when I will come back."

I'm leaving. I can't handle any more pain. No more Yoo Jeongyeon. I've had enough.