Bathing in blood and secret spells mcr fanfic

I need your help

I cannot believe what she has done, why does my mother always try and ruin my life by trying to make me who I am not? Why can't I just live how I want to live without a single person in the world that would want to change me? I am so annoyed right now. Annoyed at myself for being so stupid, for letting this happen, for murdering Kieran, for falling for Gerard. I'm annoyed at my mother for making me who I am not, for giving me illegal potions that can have disastrous side effects, for making me fall for Gerard, for pushing me over the edge. I'm annoyed at Gerard for being in the way, for being the one that pushed me into this mess, for telling me want to do and controlling me, for being so drop dead gorgeous... STOP!!! NO! I don't think of him that way, it is just that we are both under a spell to make us attracted to one another, nothing more. There cannot be anything more.

So here I sit in my den running through everything that has happened and watching as pieces fall together as it become even clearer. The pictures of memories that I have displayed on the wall opposite me hold the truth of what had happened. I can't believe I had been so blind. Why didn't I see this happening at the time? It is all too clear.

The fact that I fell for Gerard the moment I laid eyes on him, the fact that the two Way brothers had 'accidentally' stumbled upon my den that night, the fact that Gerard was the one to bite me and then I forgave him straight away and was brave enough to confront him the next day, Gerard being in all of the same classes as me, Gerard starting to be pushy and demanding until he drove me to murder, my mother acting strange everyday, giving me alcohol and drugs, leaving the secret cupboard unlocked for me and Rose to find out that it is full of illegal potions that could turn anybody dark, Presnite's death and disappearing family that are likely to also be dead.

Why did I get caught in this life?

I have stocked up my fridge and cupboard for at least a week of me staying here to get my head around things and let the potion wear off. I bought real alcohol this time, no potion but it tastes exactly the same, don't ask how I got it, it involved a little bit of magic and persuasion. I have bought bread, sandwich fillings, biscuits, pop tarts, hotdogs, pizzas and I still have at least half of the money I left with.

I gave up putting things together because I already know the story so I sat down and switched on the tv, with magic of course, there is not real electricity or plumbing in this den/house.

The first thing to come on the tv was the local news.

"Hello and welcome to news near you, our headlining story today is about one of the local teenage girls suddenly taking a turn for the worse and becoming the most recent baby faced killer. That's right. Ash-Red Montana at the age of seventeen has committed the crime of murder and not only that, she did it in school surrounded by a group of other school children. It was apparent that her teacher was running late for the lesson and when she entered the classroom she was treated to the scene of the murder. Ash has not been seen since the killing and has been believed to ran away. However I would still stay alert and by all means do not try confront her if you do see her. This is Kirsty Sterawed and his is news near you."

I was so shocked that I had done that at first but to be published on the tv as a baby faced killer pushed me over the edge. The tv showed pictures of me at different times but when a picture of me, Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Bob and Frankie popped up on the screen with me in a bright red circle I became so shocked and annoyed I began to cry.

I turned off the tv and sobbed into my couch.

We all looked so happy, so normal, so us. Why did it all change? I wish I could go back to just being me. The emo girl that was bullied at school, part of the 'group of emo's' as people would call us.

I wanted Frank back. No way would he be my friend after this, and I don't blame him either.

I felt so depressed and the alcohol was not enough to numb my pain. Nothing could numb is pain. Only death it's self.

Only death.

Death.