Bathing in blood and secret spells mcr fanfic

Monster, nothing but a monster

Five days later...

"Ash?" I heard Rosalie's voice say quietly while she knocked lightly.

I just lay still in my messed up bed in my five day old clothes. I haven't had a shower for five days, I haven't eaten and I haven't been to school, I haven't seen any of my friends or I haven't answered their calls and texts. I've just been lying in bed until I fell asleep again the next night.

My mother and father don't care about me not going to school, they don't care that I don't eat, they don't care I'm a complete mess. They practically handed me the bottle of vodka and cocaine as well. My mother knocked on the door and said:

"There is a little something outside your door to calm your nerves..." Before she walked back down stairs.

I contemplated on opening the door and when I finally did I found the vodka bottle and an eight ball of cocaine. My family is seriously cracked up.

Why would your mother give you vodka and drugs. It's like a method of saying 'go kill yourself honey.'.

Me being myself actually took the death wish and drank half the bottle of vodka in one sitting. I didn't want to really touch the drugs. I have never done drugs in my life and I actually am scared to find out what it is like to do drugs.

"Ash." Rosalie sighed. "You can't hide away forever." She sounded really upset.

I just lay in my bed, still a bit dizzy from the vodka, staring at the ceiling out of boredom. Half of me wanted that ceiling to give away and crush me into nothing but the other half of me was just in denial of actually wanting that.

I heard the door knob turn and the door creak open followed by small footsteps coming into my room. Half of my bed sunk as I felt the weight of Rosalie climb into bed next to me.

"What do you want Rose?" I said with a sigh but my voice came out croaky.

"You can't just hide in here. Everybody misses you. Frank knocks everyday to see if you've showed any sign of getting over... It... I miss you too Ash. I want my Keira back. Not the depressed teenage which. My Keira." She said softly.

"She is buried so deep inside though Rose. So deep she can't come out. Even I think she has stopped trying to get out, stopped trying to be someone she clearly is not. I'm a murderer, Rose. I killed Jamie. I didn't want to but I did. God knows I miss the guys but, I feel better when I'm alone. When no one can judge me. Where I can be my true self. I just wanna be okay again Rose. I don't want to be known as the dark which that killed the teenage boy. I just wanna die." I said while sipping more vodka.

"No. You need to stay here. With me. With Gerard and Frank. We all love you and you mean so much to us." Rose sobbed.

I flinched at Gerard's name. He was the one I felt strongly for yet he pushed me to using dark magic and then just smiled evilly at me in the back row of the crowd.

"No. I'm a monster, nothing but a cold blooded murdering monster. Gerard knew I didn't want to use dark magic yet he pushed me to doing what i did." I said and let a small tear escape.

"He what?" Rose said shocked.

"He pushed me to use my dark magic. He literally said, 'use your dark' and smiled as if it didn't matter. He watched me murder Jamie with a huge grin on his face." I sobbed downing more vodka.

Rosalie looked really worried at me for a moment then she looked as if she had seen a ghost. What did I do this time?

"Give me that." She said and snatched the vodka bottle and threw it up in the air and set fire to it.

Purple flames were emitted from the bottle which can only mean one thing. Magic was currently being used on that bottle. Either magic or it was containing some sort of potion.

Potion?

What the hell would I be drinking a potion for?

Did mother do that?

"Ash?" Rose said a bit worried. "How many bottles have you drank?" She said really concerned.

"Seven... Eight maybes. It just tasted like vodka. I was still drunk." I said.

"Oh no. We must find out what it is. You could be in deep trouble Ash." Rosalie stated like a genius. (Sarcasm intended)