Roomies [BoyXBoy]

Chapter 19: Easier Said Than Done

This is not edited, you might see some typo/grammatical errors.

 

Warning: FLUFFY

 

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Matt's POV

 

I never planned on having a mental break down that night after the incident with Kris in that morning. But just the thought of losing Kris is enough to make me cry, let alone feel emotional. The mere thought of it broke my heart to million pieces, and I can’t just hold it in. So I let it all out. 

 

There's no denying the fact that I really like this guy. Like, it is a very weak definition of how i truly feel, with how bawled and started mumbling stuff like "i cant lose you, i cant i just cant" and some other things along that line. It was scary and embarrassing knowing that it could further complicate our relationship. Cause thinking about it. Its a confession, of some sort.

 

Come on! You dont just spill the words that I just spilled to someone that you call friend. I mean you might, but not the way I did it. It felt like we were breaking up and i'm trying to save it.

 

But you know what’s the best part of it? When Kris, the very straight Kris that I was crying about, came over my bed, took me in his arms and and whispered soothing word in to my ears to calm me down. I felt safe, loved even. The way he whispered the words “it’s okay” or when he said “I’ll be here.” It was enough to calm me down a bit.

 

It made me think that it was a confession of some sorts. That maybe, this is his way of saying that he feels the same way. That he also likes me and I don’t even have to say it cause he knows. That he cant bear the idea of leaving me as much as I could.

 

But I needed to stop myself there. We just agreed to stop assuming and start communicating. And that’s what I need to do, well, maybe half of it, the stop assuming part. Cause am not ready to talk to him and tell him how I feel. And how do you even confess? How do you say to someone you like them, that you want to be with them and spend the days together with them? I have no idea, so for now, I am holding that thought and wont talk about my feelings.

 

And I am so done talking about my feelings cause I know I’ll be another whole mess like I am right now. I don’t even know when I stopped crying or when did we start lying on my bed.

 

Kris didn’t let go. He kept holding me as we lie in my bed, my head on his arm cradled on his strong chest. Even if I wanted to, I cant start acting shy about this situation, I just don’t have the energy. It really takes a lot of your energy when you cry your heart out. Next thing I know, I was drifting into sleep as Kris continues to comb my hair with his fingers and as he hum a tune that I know, I know but cant remember at that very moment.