3 | Denying Attraction

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"Ugh!" I groan, spinning in my chair. I had no idea what to write about. Nothing seemed good enough. I'd been sitting in this chair for hours, just brainstorming.

My phone dinged and I picked it up to find a text from Michelle.

Michelle
How's it going?

Groaning, I reply to her text.

Victoria
Horrible. Nothing's good enough.

Michelle
Just ask Pete for help

Victoria
Can't do that
We're writing different stories and choosing

Michelle
And he suggested this?

Victoria
No, I did.
Why?

Michelle
Gwen's right. You are blind.

Victoria
What do you mean?

Michelle
Vick, the kid likes you
He always has

Victoria
That's funny!
Thanks, I needed the laugh

Michelle
Deny it all you want
You like him back

Victoria
Do not!

Michelle
Whatever, if you don't like him, tell him that

Victoria
I will
He's annoying
And ugly
And horrible
And he tries to be my "friend"

Michelle
Keep tellin yourself that, hun

Victoria
God

Michelle
Bye

I hear the door open, and I quickly get up from my chair, running to the kitchen.

"Hey," I say enthusiastically to my dad who wasn't even able to walk in a straight line. "How was it?"

"Good," he grunted, sitting at the counter. I quickly hand him a glass of water and an Advil. We had run out of his usual medication. "Where's my normal one?"

"We ran out," I whimper.

"You're so beautiful, Vickie," he says, putting a hand on my cheek. "I'd hate to ruin that face."

My breath got stuck in my throat as his hand reared back, hitting my arm with a loud smack. I winced as the pain spiked throughout my body.

"Remember, I don't like anything else," he slurs, hitting the glass and shattering it on the wall. I let out a yelp, afraid of him. This wasn't the first time this happened. It was a monthly thing. Every month, he ran out. Every month, I forgot to get something. And every month, my mother wasn't there to protect me.

I nod my head slowly as he walks away. Trailing after him, I walk into my own room, cradling my arm. At this point, facing Pete would be better. I wish the world could be better.

Why are some of us cursed? Jamie from biology has a perfect life. A car, a girlfriend, two parents. Her life was complete. I was jealous in that moment. I wanted to be Jamie from biology. I wanted to live her perfect life, I wanted to eat her perfect food, I wanted to drive her perfect car.

Even Pete had a better life. Two people as parental figures. I don't know the details, or anything really, but he has a good life. He seems perfect. From the surface at least, I haven't actually learned anything about him.

I just hoped and prayed my family wasn't so dysfunctional, but I can't change reality.

I pull hidden papers out of my desk drawer. Someday, I'll get revenge on this world. Someday, I'll make others feel this pain. Someday, I won't feel broken.

And that day will be the best in my life.

§ 524 words §

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