Actually, nabitin ako. Pero okay naman yung story mo, hindi siya mukhang jeje. Keep up the good work!
Pero sana, lagyan mo rin ng kaunting thrill. (Exciting) yung story mo. Para mapa-goose bumps! Ang readers!
Nakakatawa lang kasi na, magaling ako mag-critic pero pag gumawa ako ng story, just like. (Lol, xD) yan ang ekspresyon ko, (y ganon) that's what's i always asked to myself, pero dahil nga nag-cricritique ako, ina-apply ko rin ito sa sarili ko. Sana ganon rin kayo! At makatulong ito sa inyo!
Pero minsan wag, idadaan sa (meanwhile, fast forward and etc) na may ganon.
Mas maganda na, lumipas ang oras ay blahblahblah.
Or
After a couple of minutes blahblahblah
Keep up your good work! Kailangan lang siguro ng kaunting thrill! Yun lang! Good luck!

YOU ARE READING
LEVEL 1: One-Shot Writing Contest•°▪
RandomCONTEST! CLICK READ FOR MORE INFO ABOUT THIS CONTEST! Update every night, :)