Confident ???

Peace

Aurora

" Aurora..."

Here I am standing in front of my man that started it all. The man who broke me down to try to make me feel less of myself, the man who I'm too ashamed to even call a man. Roger. Not to sound petty or conceited but I thought that the first time I see Roger after all this shit he would be distraught, looking like he ain't got no money but shit he actually look nice. Almost like he's a peace.

" uhhh Aurora can we talk?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and just stared at him. If I saw him before today I probably would have grabbed my bat and knock his ass out, but now I just don't feel anything. I don't feel hate or love.. it's kind of a neutral feeling I've been having for a while.

I looked at him before walking down the steps and sitting on the second step.

" You can sit down, don't worry it's big enough for the both of us" I joked. He shook his head before cautiously sitting down next to me. Neither of us said anything. I was just enjoying the few of my lawn, breathing the fresh hair, while Roger looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words

" ... Hi" he finally said

" Hey" I said with a smile

"... Can we please not make this awkward?" He asked with a chuckle. I'm not making this awkward actually. I'm just here

" I'm not you are, I'm just here enjoying the nature"

"...who would have thought that after all this we would be sitting here enjoying the nature... together?" He asked. I only nodded my head to his words. I never would have thought I would even see his face, because I didn't want to but now I don't mind

" I want to apologize to you, apologize for what I did.. I had no right, I'm sorry "

"..just...tell me why...why did you do it? Were you unhappy? Did you not want to get married?.. shidd was it me all together? Why? ".. I pained me to ask because I already know the answer but I need to hear it from him in order to properly move on from this.

"..I was unhappy..but it had nothing to do with you. I felt like I grew up too fast..I felt like we moved to fast and that was on me. Around the time we met I was so fucking insecure and when we got together I wanted us to be forever. I didn't want to get married but I knew you did, I didn't wanna lose you so I made the choice to propose to you so I can have you forever. Once we were made things were amazing you were amazing you encouraged me everyday, you loved me every single day and I loved every thing I fell in love with you every day. I wanted to be a better man for you so I lost weight and you got me that job. I felt like we were one, until my mind started changing. I realized I didn't wanna be married anymore but I still wanted you. You made me so happy and I didn't wanna let that go, but I just didn't wanna be married. I wanted to experience life I wanted to travel see the world and let the world see me before I got married. I threw myself straight into adult like without going through anything to prepare myself for it. You...you helped me get through the door, but I wasn't ready. I should've told you this but I couldn't bring myself to do it. You seemed so happy and I couldn't take it away from you like that. So I pushed everything I was feeling to the back of my brain. I started being mean to you hoping that you would realize that I wasn't happy. I started telling you lies, started degrading you hoping you would divorce me but your heart wouldn't let you, so I had to stoop so low as to fake like I was having an affair. I never cheated on you, kitty is a friend of mine that helped me in this fuck shit. She pretended to send those messages so we could pretend like I'm cheating on you and it worked. You hated me for so long, then you gave me what I wanted, you divorced me and I never saw you again. After our last meeting I fell down the drain because, not only did I lose my wife but i lost my bestfriend. I pulled a cowardly move, I am disgusting and vile. I'm evil and i know you hate me but I want to tell you that I love you and I need you in my life as a friend, but after today we won't ever have to see each other again if that's what you want. I'm sorry Aurora, I never wanted to hurt you, hell if I where you I would just punch me in the face cause-"