The Rags and The Riches

Twenty-Two

"I just wanted to say that," Paul tried to speak through all the light kisses John gave him on his face and hands. Their relationship wasn't really a relationship, only a few rushed kisses whenever the opportunity presented itself. Brought on by John, of course.

"I'm so grateful for everything, I really mean it."

"But, this can't go on." Paul eventually forced out of himself. John needed no explanation, he felt like pretending he didn't know what Paul was saying to him. But what was the point. Thinking about it now he could of noticed before, Paul wasn't into him. "You don't want this." Wracked with guilt, Paul put his head down and shook it slowly.

"That's alright Macca." John said in a seemingly calm manner. "It's perfectly alright how, after I helped you get your family business on track again." His reaction quickly rising from zero to ten.

Paul paused for a moment analysing the situation."Hold on, ou're blackmailing me to sleep with you because you helped me?" Paul questioned his anger matching Johns. "You can't force me to be a dirty fuckin' queer." He regretted saying it as soon as it came out of his mouth. He knew this jab would strike John hard, as it was always something of his that he was insecure about.

The older one was taken aback causing him to remain silent for a bit, before he spoke again. "You waited all this time to tell me." John stood there staring at him trying to make him uncomfortable and guilty. Paul just stood there having no clue what he could possibly say, so once again they were consumed by silence.

Knowing they'd only be going round in circles, he just decided to give up. "Tell Jim I said get well soon." He said after a long pause. "I hope he doesn't have the same fate as me Uncle."

"John, mate, c'mon please don't be like this..." Paul begged, he hated making people unhappy but it's what put him in this position in the first place. Trying to keep John happy. He wasn't going to force himself to have an attraction to him, but he would happily be a close friend. "We can still be mates."

"Mates my arsehole, it's your fucking fault in the first place that he is dead." Referring to his uncle. "If I werent there for your ungrateful ass I could've been there for him instead." All John wanted to do was to kiss him, and hug him and make him laugh, but all he could think of is how he was lied to and led on to believe Paul actually liked him. How stupid could he have been to let his guard down.

"I did all this shit cause of you, none of this would be happening, if it weren't for me." He felt tears coming out, he knew they'd be coming down, he could feel it, but he didn't let them.

He'd only known Paul for few weeks but he had never felt so strongly about anyone. He didn't love him, not yet, he didn't know what he felt.. But it was powerful enough to make him want to cry, which almost he did. But he held it back like most moments in his life and left Paul standing stupefied.

John left took the lift downstairs to where George was rubbing his sleeve across his face to wipe off the stream of tears, leaving Paul to be standing in his office all alone. He walked towards where George meant to be working so he could get his coat and feel sorry for himself. But when he saw the boy's head down he knew that he could have someone he could mope around  with. "Y'alright George?" Head still buried, he shook it violently.

"Come on 'ed." John patted his shoulder and the twenty year old reluctantly stood to presumably take a late night walk with John.

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"Come on mate, tell me what's up?" John asked, he and George were walking along the pavement with ice cream in their hands from the van John and Ringo were driving in not long before. The whole time they'd been walking George would only lick the ice cream silently, with no joy in his face. "This ice cream is fuckin' amazing but you're face is acting like you're licking an ass." George didn't respond and just licked the ice cream habitually.

"And yer didn't even laugh at me jok-"

"It's cause of Pattie, John." George sighed moodily, not in the right mindset for humour. "I really don't want to explain but she was basically using me to help Stuart."

"Well fuck. I'm gonna have to have a talk to Stu."

"I don't know why you haven't done so already to be honest." George said plainly without any emotion in his tone. "I'm done with this shit. Just wanna go home."

"You'll get better, its only your first heartbreak." John nudged him comfortingly.

George shrugged, not wanting to think about it anymore he changed the subject. He didn't want the attention to be focused on him and it was obvious by John's flushed face and fidgeting hands that something was on his mind. Maybe Paul had already told him he didnt want them to be together.

Two heartbreaks in one night.

"Mate I already know what's up with you." John was silent, he was a smart man and didn't need to ask any questions. Paul and George were like brothers so Paul would obviously tell him. It was embarrassing frankly being led on like that by him. "I'm real sorry John." The twenty-two year old smiled gratefully and bumped the ice cream on George's nose playfully. John was surprised George cared so little that he was queer, he'd found a true friend in him. Most people would have ran a mile to the police station.

When they reached John's bus stop they said their farewells and he quickly hopped on the bus towards his flat. He was grateful that no one was aboard as he felt free to relax. He sat on the lower deck his head leaning against the cool glass window. He felt his eyelids grow heavier and felt himself get sleepier 'til he heard commotion going on upstairs on the bus.

He heard someone probably a teen pleading with a much harsher but still younger voice. He chose not to get involved however, it was none of his business, besides it's the circle of life. The bigger people always bully the smaller ones, something John himself was experienced in doing.

John had had enough, he didn't want go back to his flat and be punched in the face by the reminder of Paul. He'd rather be with his aunt right now, at least he'd feel comforted. So he sat comfortably on the bus long after the stop he would normally get off at.

But when he got there he realised he wasn't the one who needed the comfort. Maybe he did, but as he stepped slowly into the house and into the living room he looked over at his aunt. It made him realise she needed it more. He'd made his Uncle's death all about him andd how it all affects him, but then there was she hunched over. Sobbing into an old photo of the two of them, a picture taken only recently.

Not saying anything he sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around the frail women who was breaking down before him.