Crimson

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Updated: April 8, 2019

Song: Ruby, My Dear by Thelonius Monk

Corvo

The man who stood in the mirror wasn't the same one from last year. Before the Ruby situation intensified like it had, I was just another Alpha-to-be knocking on his father's door and waiting for the crown to be passed. My father's illness shoved a couple obstacles in my way but they were dealt with – not accordingly – but they were dealt with. Tess and I had a relationship, my siblings were on the same page as me, and hopes to see my mother again for the first time in over ten years bettered every day. Now I stood fatherless due to my mate's actions, and my siblings refused to look at me in the face for longer than a couple seconds. While Damien and I found common ground, Ethel was hit the hardest. Her and our father were closest and her seeing his body, knowing exactly where the wounds on his fur came from, didn't help my case when I defended L as if she were a saint. Tess was gone. She and her mate started fresh, and she left me behind to pick up the pieces of our mutual love torn by the instinctual desire to find our other halves. It was probably better that way. For her, Emerald proved toxic and Tess deserved better than anything I ever gave her. As much as I didn't want to give up on her, Tess deserved to be happy; I couldn't give her that if L was still alive.

My hair dulled with each day that passed. From inky black to a harsh smoky brown the color of my wolf when Zane took over, I watched it physically alter my appearance. Zane paced in the back of my head. His ever-growing desire to take L and protect her from the world around us itched at my skull. He didn't let up with his pleas; on more than one occasion I slammed the wall between us down. His midnight cries echoed in a way that almost drove me insane. The chance of us seeing her alive after the trial were slim but Zane had faith. He still wished for her to live. There was nothing I could do. Her life, bottled away in a jar, was in the council's hands. I was helpless, unable to assist, but sit and watch her plea a case she had zero chance of winning.

"I can't help her," the mumble left my lips before I realized I said it out loud. The line between the internal unconscious I found myself submerged, and reality blurred the longer I stared at my shadowed face. The creases under my eyes were ridges bore into a mountainside, and my cheekbones sliced the air and cast a deep gray shadow underneath. Ethel commented on my weight just before my departure for the compound. She said I needed to eat, and that my clothes hung like rags off a clothesline. My diet reverted to caffeine and spare calories I picked up during the day but anything else made my stomach turn a shade of red that dared come back up.

After we arrived at the hotel, the five of us split up into two rooms. Luis and I shared a room while the other three took the larger one a couple floors below us. We spent the first several hours sleeping. Luis splayed out on his bed while I rested at the bay window, head pressed to the glass. As much as I wanted to sleep, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes for too long. Outside, the ocean sky washed over the horizon with foamy clouds the color of cotton pulled from the plant in the heat of summer. The sun sprinkled caramel light over the grass, turning it a light shade of wheat. It was too early in the season for the grass to die, yet I watched it shrivel like an old apple abandoned in the fruit tray.

"What?" Luis peeked his head out of the closet. His fingers fiddled with a crimson tie around his neck. At one point the skin scrunched just above the shirt collar but he loosened the fabric before he lost breath. His olive skin highlighted in dark beige underneath the dark tie. I continued the stare down between me and my reflection. My formal wear didn't change much from event to event: black shirt, tie, pants, and shoes. Color didn't look great on me, especially with the shadows on my skin.

"I can't save her," I muttered again. This time I made sure Luis could hear me.

"Don't say that." His voice hardened over and he disappeared behind the closet door again to grab a jacket from its hanger. He came back around and slung the dark navy coat around his shoulders, and pulled his arms through. He adjusted into the fabric, the wool suffocated the shirt under but he didn't breathe any heavier than if he spared the coat. Instead, the fabric fell a couple of inches past his belt.

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