The Things I Can't Tell You

Day One

My predicted grades aren't very high.

I'm predicted an A in Geography at least, so I'm probably going to do that at university. 

I don't know why my predicted grades are so low. I had lots of time last year to revise, didn't I? My parents gave me all the time and space I needed when I was at home to revise, but I don't know. I just never did well in Year 12, did I? Remember how proud of me you were when I did well on a test? Every time I did well, you would buy me chocolate or walk me home after. 

If I didn't do well, I wouldn't even see you that day. 

I didn't mind though. It was motivation to see you.

Sent 20:38

I can't really get to sleep.

If you could reply to my messages, you would probably be angry at me for texting you this late. You would complain about how, if you started talking to me now, you probably wouldn't sleep all night and wouldn't be able to focus the next day.

Oh well.

I want to watch some anime, but it reminds me too much of you. I still have the list of anime that we planned to watch together on my phone. I've read it over about twenty times. And cried. I can't stop crying. 

Everyone keeps texting and asking if I'm ok. I'm clearly airing their messages. I turned off my last seen so they don't know that I've been online. I feel so guilty because I know you didn't like it when I turned off my last seen. 

I'll turn it back on later. 

The charge on my phone is dying. I won't be able to sleep, but I'll have to say goodbye anyway.

I love you.

sent 02:58