Loving the enemy

Chapter 8

He doesn't kiss me back at first, shocked that I made the first move. He quickly grasps the situation and his mouth moves with mine. Softly at first, but then more aggressive as I do. His hand slithers around the side of my throat, entangling into my hair. I push myself up onto his lap, kissing my grief away. Our lips fit together perfectly, and the world seems to stop. I can taste the slight saltiness of my tears.
Shane pushes me away, causing me to let out a gasp of protest.
"This isn't right." he says simply.
"It's fine." I persist, going to press my mouth back against his. He stops me.
"No. You're grieving. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. It's not right, Max." I sigh and slide off him, sitting beside him. He's right. I'm not in a good state of mind. I could have ruined everything with that move. My plans for vengeance. So much more is on the line now. We sit in silence for awhile before I break it.
"What colour is your coat." I say quietly. He turns his head to me, an eyebrow raised.
"Why?"
"It just tells a lot about the person. What colour their wolf is." He shakes his head.
"No, I'll show you another day. For now, you should sleep." I sigh and lie back down. He lies down too, wrapping his arm around my back and holding me close against him.
Just as I'm about to fall asleep I hear him mutter something.
I am too far gone to question what it was.
••••••••
When I wake up Shane is still lying behind me.
"You're awake." he says simply.
"How'd you tell?" His small fluttery laugh fills the cold room.
"You're breathing changed." I roll over so I'm facing him. I press my forehead against his chest and snuggle in closer to him. Our bodies mould together seamlessly and we seem to become one.
"The vampires tried to kill my brother." I say quietly "Now he's gone forever and I'll never be able to see if he lived or not." Shane places a kiss on my forehead.
"He will be able to find a way back here Max. He always will." I shake my head.
"No. He will deny having any family. They will search him up, find links to our parents, find out they are dead and then put him in a foster home. Or they will associate him with the murders and imprison him." Shane's eyebrows crease slightly and I realise this is the first I've mentioned of my parents death.
"When was the last time you went into the town?" He asks, brushing away the secret I just let slip.
"Not since my parents were alive. I would have been about nine."
"There's a carnival today. I'll take you." I gasp, sitting bolt upright.
'No. It's not safe." He sits up too, putting a warm hand on my shoulder.
"What's the worse that could happen, Max? Nobody even knows you." I remain quiet for a moment, trying to think of things that could go wrong. There are hundreds of possibilities. He speaks again before I can deny. "I'll be with you. The carnival is filled with love struck teenagers, we will blend perfectly."
Love struck
Is that how he sees us? I climb out of the bed, looking at the mess of my home that I still haven't cleaned.
"What am I going to do?" I whine. "My home is ruined. I'm destined to spend my life with a werewolf-" I don't notice Shane cringe "-and the thing I care about most in the world is gone." I turn around to face Shane. "And you think that going to a fucking carnival will help solve my problems?" at this point my voice raises and I start yelling "do you think the pink candyfloss will make everything okay!? Do you believe that kissing me under the fireworks will make Able come back!? That cheap carnival rides will make the pain stop!?" My fists are clenched and tears are brimming in my eyes. I'm so mad I'm shaking. "Fuck you Shane. You have no idea what it's like to loose everyone you love! You have no clue what it's like to go through what I've gone through! I've been living in hell!" He doesn't move, absorbing my yells and insults like a sponge. He seems to tolerate this, as if what I'm saying means nothing to him. This just causes me to get more angry. "Yell at me, Shane!"
He shakes his head. "No." He says quietly.
"Fuck you! Yell at me! Hit me! Stop being such a bitch and yell at me!"
"Max-"
"It's my fault this happened! I should have been home but instead I was with you! If he dies it's on me! I can't loose someone else." tears start flowing down my face and my voice breaks. "Don't you understand?" I fall to the ground in dismay. "I killed him. I killed my little brother." I hear Shane climb out of the bed and sit on the floor in front of me. His hands touch my knees and I look up at him.
"You didn't kill Able. If he dies, that's not on you. Do you hear me? You did not do this." I nod my head, tears slick down my face. "I will do everything in my power to stop the vampires from hurting anyone else. I will tell all of my people to kill on sight. They won't ever hurt anyone ever again. They won't hurt you ever again."
"How can you do that? It's not like you're an alpha." I say quietly. A knowing grin covers his face.
"No I'm not. But my father is."
••••••••••
My eyes widen and I lift my gaze to meet his.
"You're not serious." I say in shock.
"I am." He says almost cockily "my dad is alpha of our pack and I am his only son."
"Why didn't you tell me this? This changes everything Shane." His eyebrows knit together in confusion. A small frown covers his face.
"This changes nothing, Max."
"You are the next alpha in line, and your mate is a human who kills your people. They won't let you lead them if they find out." Though I say that, its not what I am worried about. The wolf who killed my parents was an alpha. My chest starts to clench and it feels as if my ribcage is folding in on itself. I put a hand to my chest.
"Max." Shane says, sounding concerned. "Calm down. You're going to give yourself a panic attack." His hands fall on my shoulders and I push then away, my breaths going ragged.
"Shane, what colour is your coat." I demand.
"Why? Max what's going on?" I lock my eyes with his.
"Shane." I say deadly serious "I am going to ask again. What colour is your wolf?"
"Silver." He says, holding my gaze.
Oh my god
It is impossible for a wolf to get a light shaded coat unless his parents are light coloured also. So in his instance, one wolf would have been white silver and the other a light brown. My heart clenches and a gasp is forced from my chest.
I clench my brothers hand under the table, the large white wolf slaughtering our parents. His fur seems to glisten silver in the lighting, blood splattered on his coat. My mother screams still ring in my ear, though she has been silence for a while now. The beast turns its head to look at me, Able lets out a cry of distress and I gasp. It's large dark eyes meet mine and it snarls at me. I clench my brothers hand tighter as the wolf slowly turns and walks away. Leaving us orphans and crying under my dining room table.
When the memory snaps away Shane is holding the sides of my face, looking deep into my eyes.
"Max? What's going on?" I get to my feet in a surprising amount of speed. He stands too, confusion and hurt on his face. "What's wrong?" I shake my head viciously.
"I don't ever want you to speak to me again, do you understand? I don't want to remember you ever existed." Shane steps back from me in shock. I ignore the hurt glazed over his expression. "I am not your mate, okay?"
"I...." he can't seem to find words because he doesn't try to keep speaking.
"I'm just going to hurt you." I say. "I am going to hurt you more than you can ever imagine if we keep doing this."
"I can't just.... move on. That's not how it works in my world. For us, we see someone and if they are the one we feel it deep inside. We know from the instant that it's them, forever. You will always be apart of me, I love you. If you walk away I will still love you, and will continue to love you. If you leave now. If you turn your back and close me out I will still love you. No matter how much I might want to hate you, I won't be able to. It will destroy me from the inside out. The places your touched me will turn to acid and my mouth will go numb with the cold you leave behind.
Whatever you are trying to protect me from, is nothing compared to what will happen to me if you leave now."
"I'm sorry." I say quietly, my words dissolving into the bitter air. "We will meet again, but when we do everything will make sense. Maybe then, if you can forgive my sin, we can try again." I step forward and gently kiss Shane on the corner of his mouth. "Just know I have to do this. I hope you can understand." I take my crossbow and quiver and leave the destroyed treehouse, and he stays inside. As I walk away, leaves crunching beneath my feet I hear a howl come from the windows. A howl filled with so much pain it causes my heart to ache. Somewhere in the distance another howl erupts. Within seconds the forest is filled with the cries of beasts.