Marvel At What Could've Happened

Chapter 10

Loki jerked and sat straight up in bed, grasping at the sheets. He glanced at the clock. 2:42am. He was sweating and shaking. He slowed his breathing and looked around the room, trying to get his bearings. He spotted the glass of water on the bedside table and grabbed it, quickly gulping most of it down.

He fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. It became evident almost immediately that sleep was out of the question. He pushed himself back up and swung his legs over the side. He sat for a minute and then stood up. He grabbed a shirt out of the closet and pulled it over his head, walking towards the door in the process. He opened it slowly, and carefully stepped out into the hall. Loki wandered towards the main living area of the facility. His feet on the floor were the only sound.

In the living room, Loki sat down on a couch that faced outside. He could see very little other than the white and orange lights that lit the edges of paths or driveways or buildings. Other than telling one where something ended and another started, they were quite useless in the business of lighting up the compound. He wished he could see stars. On Asgard, he knew all the constellations. Here, the stars were foreign. They were in another galaxy, after all. Even so, it was the only thing similar to Asgard.

He didn't want to admit that Asgard was home, but it was. If it wasn't for Odin, he might return even now, after all he had done.

Loki slid farther down on the couch, reclining. He could see a few very bright stars even with all the lights, the brightest ones might even be planets, he guessed. Loki wondered which they were; he really didn't know anything about Earth's galaxy. Without meaning to, with his mind on the stars, Loki drifted off.

He regretted doing so when he found himself on the floor and waking suddenly for the second time that night. His rest has been plagued by even more dreams, but this time they were of home. His mother, disappointed, hateful, saying she wished he had stayed dead. Odin, angry that the plans he had made for Loki were ruined.

He had fallen off the couch trying to avoid a warped version of Thor, who was aiming his hammer at Loki's face. Loki had woken so quickly he was unsure if he had escaped the blow or not. It didn't matter, however, it was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream . . .

Loki realized far too late that he wasn't alone. Tony Stark was lounging on the couch to his right. Loki's eyes widened and he remembered that Stark just watched him flail and fall off the couch.

"What are you doing," he hissed. Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Sitting. You good over there?" Loki didn't answer. "It's fine. I get them too."

"What did you just say?" Loki looked at him quickly, his face hardening.

"I said I get them too. The nightmares. Happens to the best of us. Don't sweat it, I'm not judging it, only your fondness for murder."

"Nightmares are for children; and when will you get it through your head that I don't want to kill anyone?"

Good point, although I argue that I have the mental age of a child and you're, what, like sixteen? So you'll need a better excuse for what I saw."

"How dare you call me a child, Stark," Loki said angrily. "I am no such thing, and don't pretend like you know me."

"I'm not pretending, I know I do. See, I didn't see it until now. Took me long enough, my bad. I understand now."

"Understand what?" Loki didn't want to know or to push Stark farther, but he had to know.

"How similar we are. We're basically the same, Loki. And listen, that's a compliment for you. Not so much for me. Just compared myself to you. But no big deal, I don't like most people, don't take it personally.

Loki was frankly bewildered by Stark; the other man's ramblings and quick speech was too much to take in when Loki was this tired.

"How dare you compare you and I. We are nothing alike, and I would never consider that a compliment." Without another word, he stood up and strode away. The dawn light was barely peaking through the trees, and if Loki was going to rest any more before breakfast, it wasn't going to be around Stark.

Tony remained on the couch, thinking. He really believed what he had said. They were kindred spirits, though he hadn't realized it until he watched Loki struggle when he thought he was alone. Suddenly he wanted to know more; more about Loki, his story, and his life. Tony couldn't hate the young man any more. Too many people hated Loki already.

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Loki didn't go back to bed. He just sat, leaning against his headboard, thinking. He was fuming at what Stark had said. They were nothing alike. He hated Stark for even suggesting such a thing. All they had done since meeting was argue, and Stark was the only one who didn't have at least a little trust in him. He was a rich scientist with a sky-high ego; really a class A narcissist.

Loki put on a malicious, egotistical persona but a select few knew that he quiet and thoughtful, and generally avoided quarrels. He was the God of Mischief, not the God of War or Death. He liked to have fun and cause some trouble, but hated conflict. However, the past year had changed him and he wondered if he could ever go back to his past self: a kind, intelligent, young prince, but maybe this time without the simmering jealousy and rage towards his older brother.

How dare Stark imply that they were the same.

Loki thought back to the image of his mother from his dreams. His mind had tainted his memory of her. He missed her by far the most, but now he could only think that she hated him. Her favorite son, now a murderer, suicidal, imprisoned, guilty of treachery and villainy; what must she think of him now? Odin hating him was nothing new, but he longed to see his mother and be loved by her again and he didn't know if that was possible.

Or maybe this was just his head messing with him, planting lies about his mother in his thoughts. He didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure if it mattered, he doubted the Avengers would ever let him out of their sight again.

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