Marvel At What Could've Happened

Chapter 18

The others were chatting quietly but quickly stopped when the brothers approached.

"I must return to Asgard," Loki said weakly. "I don't know when or if I'll be back."

"What's going on, kid?" Tony asked.

"It's imperative that I go to see our mother," he replied. "I may never have the chance again." The implications were clear and everyone was solemn and still.

"We'll miss you. Hope you come back," Tony forced a smile.

"I hope so too," Loki said. "Brother, let us go."

**********

A guard met them with horses on Asgard and they rode towards the castle. Loki hadn't realized how much he missed riding, and missed the city of Asgard. New York City was nothing in comparison to the grandeur of Asgard's towering castle and the golden city surrounding it.

Neither of them spoke; the only sound was the horse's hooves and labored breathing as Thor and Loki pushed them at a fast lope all the way to the city. At the stables they dismounted and Thor led the way into the castle.

It all came back to Loki; the configuration of the castle; which door went where, all the secret halls that they had explored together as children. He hadn't thought about it in years. He hadn't been on Asgard for almost two years now.

A few people passed, mostly guards or servants, and they all gave Loki incredulous looks but didn't say a word to the brothers. However, that didn't stop anyone from whispering to others as they went past. Loki attempted to not scowl at those staring; he couldn't blame them for it. He had caused quite the uproar, before attempting suicide, the last time he was here. Who could blame them for gossiping upon his unexpected return?

The brothers didn't run into any trouble until they reached the hall before their parent's bedroom. Loki's stomach dropped as they rounded the last corner before the door.

"Loki."

"Fa- Odin." Loki corrected himself and glared at the king. He was possibly the only person in the nine realms who wasn't afraid of Odin, and wasn't afraid to show his hatred. This was one person he could not forgive.

"Thor, what have you done?" Odin asked his older son.

"Father, he has as much right as anyone to visit Mother," Thor said in a low voice, forcing himself to stay calm. Loki was glad to see that his brother was finally standing up to Odin and challenging him. It was a huge change from the prince who had blindly worshipped his father a few years before.

"He has betrayed us and committed extensive crimes. He does not consider himself part of our royal family, and therefore I shall do the same." Loki was aghast that anyone could say such things, but he could not deny them and found himself as a loss for words, a rare occurrence.

"We have all done things that we regret and here you and I stand, both of us the product of second changes. Why should we deny him of the same?"

"Neither of us are traitors, my son."

"And are all crimes not equal?" Thor was growing angry. "None of this disproves that he is part of our family and was raised by you and Mother, same as me. He was always closer to Mother than either you or I, and has every right to visit her." Odin glared at the two boys before him.

"Is there nothing I can do to prove to you that I can see her?" Loki asked. Before Odin could answer, Thor cut in.

"You should not have to prove yourself, brother. This is ridiculous."

"Odin," Loki said quietly. "Let me visit Mother. She is one of the only people left whom I can say I love. That has never changed. I will not let your feelings towards me keep me from her. She is nothing short of my mother, and that has and will never change. She would want to see me as well, ask her."

Without another word, Odin looked between them, then turned and walked the other direction and through his and Frigga's bedroom door.

"I will not let him do this to you," Thor said quietly.

"I appreciate it, brother."

"He has no right. Mother will set him straight."

"Let's hope so." They both paused

"Loki, have you forgiven me?" Loki looked up, taken aback.

"I-," he hesitated. "I have. I see these days that you were only trying to stop me from the horrors I committed."

"To be fair, brother, I was the worst. I did not understand right and wrong, strength and weakness, arrogance and humility, until my banishment."

"Maybe. But why keep you from the privilege of a second change if that's all I have been asking for as well." They both looked up and smiled at each other.

"I am glad I can trust you," Thor said.

"I'm glad to hear that you can," Loki replied.

**********

It felt like an eternity before Odin came out of the room, looking angry.

"She will see you," he said. Loki's heart leapt. He pushed past Odin with Thor close behind, and went into the bedroom.

"Oh, my son." Her voice was so wonderful, so calming to Loki. He rushed to the side of the bed and sat, and then she was in his arms and he felt as thought he world was right again. He held her for a long time and neither spoke. Finally they broke apart.

"Mother-, I- I'm sorry." It was all Loki could think of to say.

"I've missed you so much," Frigga whispered. "Sorry for what, Loki?"

"Everything. For leaving, for doing all that I did."

"Don't apologize. Your return is enough for me," she smiled.

Loki scanned her face, taking her in and trying to remember what she was like before. It was obvious she was sick. Her face was gaunt and her under eyes were dark. She wasn't the bright woman he remembered. Everything about Frigga seemed weary and broken.

"I thought you would never want to see me again," he whispered. "It nearly drove me mad."

"Loki, why would you ever think that?"

"Because I thought you could never love someone who had done what I have. I tried to kill myself –again, when I was on earth. Thor's friends saved me. I was sure I had lost everyone by my own fault, and I couldn't be alone again." His voice broke. He didn't know why he was saying any of this, but it was so easy to talk to her and once he started, he couldn't stop.

"I'm your mother. You'll always have me."

"But maybe not. Thor told me. There's nothing we can do and once you're gone, who will I have?"

"Your brother, Loki, and these friends of his sound like they are good people for you, if they're the reason I can see you today. That's who you'll have."

**********