Fairy Lights | jerza

Darker Than Blood

Train rides are always a lonely thing.

Fiore Rails is kind enough to transport us for free so long as we remain silent and within the rear boxcar. It's a bit like old times when circus troupes climbed into moving trains, so terribly desperate to get to their destination.

We don't talk much in the boxcar; we crouch in different corners, thinking deeply about the future performance. Mentally rehearsing is a crucial part of a successful act. The only audible sounds heard from within the boxcar are Natsu's faint groans (he's extremely susceptible to motion sickness), and the vibrating of the costume trunk against the metallic floor.

Master's lips are moving silently as he repeats his lines a million times over. As a poised, introverted sort of man, he tends to hate the crowds- he claims they make him flustered. I have yet to see evidence of this; he seems so lively before them.

The train jerks to a stop and the boxcar doors slide open. Gray and Juvia grab the trunk while Lucy rolls the shaky body of Natsu Dragneel off the train.

"It's not far from here," Master says, prodding Natsu's limp body. "Come on, Fire Eater, we're so close."

"It's lovely here," Juvia comments quietly. "You can hear the ocean."

She's right- the crashing of the waves and the salty breeze are welcoming for us, travelers. Hargeon, here we come!

"That's the inn, right over there," I say, pointing to a small, run-down building. "We'll drop off Natsu, and then head over to the big top."

~ ~ ~

The equipment has already been set up by the generous civilians of Hargeon. I can spot the metallic wire stretching from corresponding poles up above. And, I realize with a smile, there is no net. 

"Look at that," Master murmurs, peering upward. "They ignored my request for a net."

"The Titania needs no net," I say stubbornly. 

"So I've been told." He motions toward the trailer that sits alongside the tent. "We'll drop off the costumes there. That'll be our preparation area- makeup, props, you name it."

"And the rings are set up?"

"The torches are over there in the corner. Snow has been made in that nifty, little machine over there," says Ringmaster, "for the finale."

I circle around, nervously making sure everything is in order. Light crew? Prop manager? Makeup artists? All are present. I know I'm not the ringmaster, but I've always felt the need to keep the show running.

~ ~ ~

The muffled sound of music floats into the tiny trailer. I hear Master's voice booming as he delivers a particularly funny joke; the crowd receives it well and laughs in response. The music changes to a classical number- this must be Lucy's act. She and her fellow acrobats will be taking over now.

I sit nervously on the bench, waiting for my cue. My silk outfit is so constricting that for a moment I feel I cannot breathe. A few minutes later, the music inconspicuously changes and Natsu, Juvia, and Gray leave the trailer and head into the tent. 

Alone, I tap my feet impatiently against the floor.

"Hello, Scarlet of the Sky," a smooth voice whispers.

I do not look up. 

"What," I whisper softly, "the hell are you doing here?"

"I've come to watch my little Scarlet perform."

"I am not your Scarlet of the Sky anymore," I say through clenched teeth. "Get out of the damn trailer- audience members belong in the stands."

"Oh, but you are mine," the man insists, running a rough knuckle against my cheek.

"I'm part of Fairy Tail now. I left the Heaven troupe ages ago, Zeref."

He pouts. "I'm just 'Zeref' now to you?"

Turning my face away from him, I curtly reply, "I don't know you, bastard."

"Don't you dare speak to your master that way," he spits, grabbing me by the leg.

He was a good master, if not for his erratic temper.

I open my mouth to shout out, but he leans closer to me and says, "Not today, little one. You mention me to anyone, and the Fairy Tail troupe is dead." Zeref's vicious expression melts into a gentle one. "Ah, Scarlet of the Sky. Your legs are your most important asset, are they not?" He gives my right ankle a sharp twist; the pain blurs my vision. "Tut tut. What a shame." 

With one last look of longing, he vanishes, black tailcoat billowing.

"Erza, you're on," Master says, cracking the door to the trailer open. Wiping away my tears and sitting upright, I almost consider telling him about the encounter with my old ringmaster;  I could cry in his arms, tell him my ankle is sprained- I can't perform tonight.

"Master, I..."

No. Zeref isn't gone. He's here, waiting, listening. I'm never truly alone.

My ankle has gone numb. If it remains so, I may still be able to walk across the rope.

"I'm ready, Master."

Master notices my odd expression. Concerned, he pushes the door further open. "You okay?"

"Of course."

~ ~ ~

The show is in full swing; Lucy and her acrobats dangle from pieces of chiffon, Natsu is juggling balls of fire,  and Juvia and Gray dance in the snow. 

"Presenting! The one! And only! Titania!" Master yells into his microphone. The lights turn to me and I put on a winning smile. 

The numbness frightens me; it's a scary feeling not being able to perceive one of your limbs. My left leg, the stronger one this evening, takes initiative and steps out on the rope. Swinging my right clumsily, I manage to take a step forward; the rope bows under my weight.

Please focus on Gray and Natsu. Please don't look at me.

I catch sight of Master frowning in my direction. My stomach drops, then the nausea hits.

The pain, like cold fire, engulfs the entirety of my leg, and I utter a silent scream. The fairy lights adorning the perimeter of the tent swirl before my eyes, too bright, and the air rushes past me as I fall from my throne. 

Fairies have wings, I'll be alright.

Lies, you're just a pixie wishing for more.