Fairy Lights | jerza

Smoke & Mirrors

When I get back to the big top, I find Jellal pacing back and forth at the entrance. He has his cell phone to his ear, and his eyes are greatly panicked.

"Jellal!"

He catches a glimpse of me and lets out a relieved breath. "Erza Scarlet, where in Earthland have you been?"

"Looking for a tightrope walker," I say, telling only the partial truth. I plan to tell him the other part, the Zeref part later, when he has calmed down.

Jellal embraces me, almost with a sense of urgency. "Never leave like that again, okay?"

"But you sent me to-"

"I didn't expect you to leave for so long!" His relieved expression makes way for an angry one. "What were you thinking? Do you even know what time it is?"

I fumble for my cell phone, but Jellal continues talking, making the action obsolete.

"Two in the morning! I nearly called the police! Erza what was going through your mind, I don't understand, was this some sort of punishment for me?" He rambles on and on, going through every possible horror scenario he had been expecting, every emotion possibly felt, everything. 

"I'm sorry," I mumble, resting my forehead against his shoulder. "I'm just really tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"

~ ~ ~

The next morning I meet the rest of the troupe at the big top. After reassuring everyone, practice continues as per usual, and I settle down beside the Ringmaster's chair. Lucy and her acrobatic team take to the ropes, and Ultear and Meredy showcase their skills for the first time. They truly are amazing, and I'm proud to have them on my team.

"Ah, she's here," Jellal says pleasantly, glancing down at his phone. He gracefully lifts himself from his chair and exits the tent.

"Who's here?" I ask Meredy, who practices nearby.

Meredy continues her pirouettes, "The new tightrope walker, I expect."

I had been anticipating the arrival of the newcomer for weeks now, just not so soon. "Who found her?"

"She came to us herself," Lucy replies, descending from the ropes; she looks like an angel, or some sort of ethereal being from this angle. "To be honest, I didn't like her attitude."

"I think you're just biased," says Ultear from across the room. "From what I saw, she has the same cocky attitude as Erza."

"I am not cocky," I protest.

"Says the girl who dramatically disappeared into the night because Jellal wouldn't give her a spot in the routine," Laxus adds.

Natsu bristles with anger. "I recall you dramatically disappearing into the night because your gramps wouldn't let you perform that dumb stunt you had been practicing."

"Shut up, Dragneel."

"You have no right to-"

"Natsu, let's not start fights-"

"You slimy, little bastard!"

"This is Fairy Tail?" a new voice rings out.

The chaos dies down immediately.

"If you don't like it, you can get out," Natsu suggests, narrowing his eyes. Gray and Laxus nod in agreement.

Instantaneously, the disgusted look is wiped off of the woman. A false, cheery smile spreads across her face. "Hm...I can work with this."

"I present to you, Fairy Tail's new tightrope walker: Evergreen," Jellal introduces.

"New tightrope walker," Evergreen whispers slyly. She meets my gaze, "And new Fairy Queen."

I get to my feet so fast that my head spins. "Wh-"

Jellal cuts me off. "Back to practice! Lucy, could you show Evergreen around?"

"If you insist," the blonde-haired girl says with a glare.

As everyone disperses, I rush over to the ringmaster furiously. "Jellal, did you hear what she said? She's awful, I can tell!"

He sighs. "She's not ideal, that's for sure, but she's talented, and that's what matters."

"How...talented?"

With a smile, he whispers, "Not as talented as you, if that's what you're asking."

A sense of relief washes over me. "So...you're not replacing me, right? This is temporary?"

"Until you fully recover," agrees Jellal.

~ ~ ~

Jellal and I make a lunch run to the nearby pizza place while the rest of the troupe practices. As we walk, I think of different ways to bring up my encounter with Zeref. Every conversation starter I have come up with so far seems too foreboding; when I finally discover a casual way to talk about Zeref, I find myself intimidated by his pleasant mood.

I don't want to be the reason I ruin it. Again.

We enter the corner street restaurant, and Jellal glances up at the menu before ordering two large cheese pizzas.

"Anything you want?" he asks briefly.

"Uh..no, I'm good," I splutter. 

He frowns. "You sure?"

"Y-Yeah."

Jellal finishes ordering and we make our way to the counter seats where we wait for the food. 

"You seem awfully distracted," he notes.

"Did I ever tell you about the Heaven troupe?" I blurt out.

The man hums thoughtfully. "I don't recall."

I tap my fingers against the plastic table. Of course I didn't tell him. I had only ever told Fairy Tail's previous ringmaster, Makarov Dreyar- and the look of horror Makarov had given me was enough to never want to tell anyone again.

"It was my old troupe. The one before Fairy Tail," I say softly. "I...escaped when I was twelve. I was the only child to do so, I think."

His eyebrows scrunch with confusion. "Escape? Children? Children in the circus are banned, Erza, I don't understand."

"There are illegal troupes in Fiore, Jellal, you and I both know that."

He remains silent.

The pizzas will be ready at any moment and I struggle to find a way to describe my entire childhood in under two minutes. The burden of having to carry this weight has become too much and I desperately find the need to let it all out.

"I was one of the many children kidnapped and sold to the Heaven troupe. I've been performing under the radar since I was three years old," I say breathlessly. "I was so little I did not even know my last name. So I was given a new name: Scarlet. We were all named after colors; our old names were to be forgotten." I shrug. "Of course, even at a young age, we knew names could not be replaced and so we always remembered to never forget our birth names."

"Sir, your order is ready!"

Jellal is frozen to his spot.

"You should probably get the pizza," I say.

"In a minute," he says absentmindedly. "How...how did you leave? Who kidnapped you? Where did you perform?"

The chef places the boxes of pizza on the pick-up counter and retreats back into the kitchen.

"We should probably get going," I murmur, "before the pizza gets cold. I'll tell you the rest on the way."

As if awakening from a dream, Jellal straightens, and with the authority of a true ringmaster, grabs the pizza, thanks the cashier, and heads out the door as if nothing had ever happened. Only his troubled eyes hold the truth.