Wings

Chapter Four - The Beginnings of Love

I want no ordinary lover, I want a storm. I want sleepless nights and endless conversations at 4 AM. I want passion, I want madness. I want to want someone who's able to make my whole body shiver at a distance and also pull me close to make sense of all my bones. - Raf B.

"Oh yeah, well I guess it is impractical that I can't heal myself. I wonder if recover girl can?" I say laughing at Todo's last comment. We had boarded my train and were chatting still.

"Oh it hadn't occurred to me, Todo won't your family worry about you getting back late?" 

"My sister might have but I've already texted her, my father won't notice." As he says this the emotion leaves his voice again and I can see his walls going back up so I decide not to pry so instead I changed the topic. 

"Well I should tell you, my house isn't very glamorous, or in the best part of town really. My father is working in America right now so I can't afford much more" he just nods at this and I get the feeling he's still lost in thought so as we get off at our stop I let a comfortable silence fall. It is just getting to be dusk as we walk and the light still fell softly on the buildings around us. I loved this time, before the nightlife started this part of the city was still quiet and the dusk made it feel safe, light-catching and glinting on the windows of the buildings and the shadows getting taller and taller as we walked. 

"Here we are." I point up to a small apartment complex and he heads for the stairs but I grab his hand pulling him back towards me."You've helped me all the way home I live on the 10th floor with no elevator let me do this." 

And with that I picked him up carrying him to the tenth floor balcony of my apartment. The look on him face was priceless though, it was some strange mixture of surprise and terror and wonder and it made me want to laugh at him but I held back.

"That, that was amazing" he whispered.

"I guess so" I replied quietly thinking about what it would be like to have never flown before. I couldn't imagine it, all those times I'd been heartbroken or lonely or sad the only two comforts I had, had been books and flying. When I read I could escape all my pain and memories and guilt and suddenly be somewhere else be someone else get so caught up in caring about a character I wouldn't have to care about the world around me, the words took me away. And when I flew I escaped into the clouds I let the wind tear away all my pain and looked at the sky and the lights and let them make me feel so small just one life surrounded by so many, so small. Getting lost in my thoughts for a moment I looked back at Todo, "I could go flying with you someday when I'm not so tired." 

I offer a shy smile a little scared of rejection but when his eyes met mine he smiles back.
"I'd love that." 

The rest of the evening was spent with me making soba with Todo's help and drinking some tea and talking and teasing while we ate. After he let his walls down a little I discovered how fun he was to hang out with, although often awkward we got along well and I was having such a good time I lost track of the time till I looked out the window and saw the sun had set and the sky was dark. He followed my gaze and then looking back at me spoke again,

"I should be getting home then?" He says it more as a question than a statement.

"Well," I said thinking, "it's quite dangerous in this part of the city at night, I'm a little worried about you walking home can you just stay over?" 

He turns bright red at this and I laugh at him yet again. "I will sleep on the couch of course" I add and he turns a slightly less bright shade of pink.

"I guess," he mumbles and so with that I move to stand and pull some extra blankets out of my closet. 

My apartment is quite small, being only two rooms. The larger one has the kitchen beside the door and then turns into a carpeted area with a black couch beside an overflowing bookshelf on the one side and a standing closet on the other my bed pushed into the corner across the room. The second room is just the bathroom. Yes it might be small but the little lights running around the edge of the room and my cream walls covered in quotes I love and things I've written paired with my rug and couch and fluffy blue bed cover always made it feel cozy to me. I also pull some large unisex sweatpants out and toss them to him. I'm sorry I don't have a shirt that will fit you but these should work for sleeping in, and I gesture for him to go change in the bathroom while I make my bed on the couch. As he comes back out my face flares up again, as he stands shirtless looking not even slightly embarrassed in my room.