Which One's Which

A New Beginning

Today was the first day in my new school.  I got here at a really sad time, because apparently this really awesome sounding girl just passed. Most people are saying that she deserved it, or that she was really weird. A lot even said she was a crybaby who had it coming. 

After hearing all of these assholes, I finally met two really sweet people. Abby knew the girl really well, and the other girl wished she had the chance to. Actually, I never caught the other girl's name.

This deceased girl's name was Jamie. From what I heard, Jamie had also lived in our group home, but was eventually adopted by this amazingly accepting man. Jamie was bullied a lot at this school, and sadly developed a cancer that after time, killed her.

I really think these two girls are going to be really great friends for me. Abby is a really sweet, nerdy lesbian, who isn't out to her parents. The other girl was really secluded, but she seems like she would be really confident when speaking to people she knows. I think she is someone I could really get to know.

Soon after meeting these fine ladies, I got in trouble for wearing my beanie because of the dress code or whatever. I didn't get in too much trouble considering it was the first day of school, and I was new to the district.

 I really didn't like how my hair turned out, and you know as soon as the hat was removed from my head, people laughed. This school is really horrible, but it's really my only option right now. Many call me a dyke and some call me Caillou. Luckily, I have Miles, Abby, and whatever the other girl's name is, around to help me get through all of this. 

I really need to learn the other girl's name. I feel like there is something about her that makes me feel she and I were definitely supposed to know each other. I know crap like that is just cliche, but I  feel like I was just meant to meet her. 

This girl had the most electrifying big green eyes, and she wore a matching sea green lipstick. She had a nose on the larger size, but she pulled it off. She had beautifully long eyelashes, and though it seemed like she was wearing mascara, I really don't think she was. She had, full, dark eyebrows that suit her perfectly. She doesn't seem like the body building type, but she had thick, muscular arms.  She also had beautifully dark, tanned, likely southern, skin. 

Most importantly, she had the most beautiful hair. It was shoulder length, slightly wavy hair. Her hair was many colors, but it was mostly black. I'm not 100% sure, but it looked as if it were naturally black. In her bangs she had stripes of magenta, purple, and teal. Her tips faded from black, to purple, to a metallic blue. Lastly, a whole side of her hair was cut off. To be honest, I wish I could have had the courage to have hair like that in the past.

Not knowing her name is driving me crazy.

I asked Miles if they caught her name, but they have a tendency to not pay attention to names. They seem to only pay attention to the person, rather than go crazy not knowing their name. I'll  have to ask Miles why they do it later, but all a I know is that I respect it. 

Anyway, the rest of the day sucked. I hated running to class before the teachers could introduce me, just so they knew not to dead-name me or out me at all. The last thing I needed was for people to be going around with more reasons to bully me. People already ask if I'm a lesbian or a prepubescent boy. 

It's weird, this girl is in 6/7 of my classes and her locker is really close to mine, yet I don't know her goddamn name. 

Luckily all of the teachers are really nice and super supportive. One of the teachers I talked to even said they were surprised by all of the bullying and violence in this school, because they see so many LGBT+ kids every year, and not just the maximum of 15 kids living in the group home. 

This girl, she is so beautiful and quiet. I want to know her story. I wanna know if people say things about her. I wanna know if people are rude to her, and if they are, I will help her. But how am I supposed to do that without her damn name! It's weird that I care about her so much, but I know nothing about her. To be quite honest, I know I sound crazy and obsessive. It's just I feel like I really should know her. 

Anyway, the rest of the day was the normal first day experience™. I heard the entire reading of the student handbook about 7 times, read by each of my teachers. (Though the teachers probably hated it too.) I ate crappy food alone, because I couldn't find my friends. I tried to calculate the quickest route to each class. I obsessed over the first remotely nice person I met. You know normal first day stuff.

Though seriously, why haven't I heard her name at any point today. I don't want to just walk up to her and be like,

"Hey what's your name."

out of nowhere! I'm definitely too awkward and verbally clumsy to be sly about it.

Maybe if I hang around Abby a bit more, I can figure it out.  And also to, you know, get to know Abby. 

I really like Abby, and she seems like she really likes me. She needs someone to comfort her in a time like this, and I wanna be there to help. I've been in her shoes, and it's not easy. 

I better head to bed. Wendy said she had something she needed to talk to Miles and me about soon. It's probably just our living plan or something small like that, but I probably want to be well rested to talk about anything important.