• One Lifestand [BxB] •

08

It's been two weeks.

Two freaking weeks in which he called, wrote and visited me every single fucking day!

To say that I am loosing my mind is a major underestimation! I feel like a caged animal, him being the evil that wants to pounce on me the moment I step out of the house. How could he possibly be so freaking obsessed with me after one stupid blind date! We haven't spend more than 12 hours together in the span of our life!

Ironic how I felt safe around him all those days ago and now he's practically driving me insane with immense anxiety, fearing the man more than the pest. I didn't leave the house once since he announced that he wants to build a relationship, which is surely never going to happen while I'm still alive. He should just accept the rejection and go on with his undoubtedly busy life, I don't want him near me just one more day, I don't know how long I could take this without breaking down and relapsing to the point of having to go into the clinic once more.

Why me anyways? He's rich, handsome and nice- from all the people he could get he just had to choose me. A traumatized nobody author and full time introvert with a fear of bonding and relationships. Just oh so fucking great! What have I even done to deserve all of this?! I fucking hate whoever sadistic shit is out there doing this to me!

I'm currently sitting inside my living room staring at the door intently, once again trying my luck with superpowers that would magically make a fairy enter with my needed groceries. Instead, however, the only thing I hear is my doorbell signaling that, once again, Mario is visiting me in hopes of whatsoever. I stopped answering the door or any other means of communication, I already knew who it was by now. It wa shim- always, without fail. I still don't know how he got either of my personal contact information for I am pretty sure I never gave him any, so he therefor shouldn't know my number and e-mail.

Maybe it's because he's so wealthy... I can imagine him getting whatever he wants with a single lift of his finger without so much as a word. This just makes everything so so much worse, why am I even thinking of that again :(.

But the real problem here right now is that I'm running out of food supplies because I ate them all during my two week long barricade and I couldn't leave the house without the possibility of being confronted. Even when Mario wasn't at the apartment I often noticed a posh car parked somewhere outside on the curb just sitting there without anyone entering or leaving said car. This obsession couldn't possibly be healthy, and the longer this procedure continued the more afraid I got, the persistance and ruthlessness behind his actions scaring me to no end.

I've gotten so paranoid that I don't even answer or look at my computer or phone anymore. At first when he just visited daily, ringing on the doorbell continuingly I had been trying to ignore him by burying myself in work, which resulted in the book being finished in no time, but after about a week e-mails, text messages and calls started flooding my mobile devices. So I shut them all off in a surge of panic ever since, and the only thing entertaining me now is cleaning, watching TV or writing in notebooks.

Additionally I would cook something really opulent out of a never used cooking book and after running out of the necessary food supplies I tried drawing, but had to figure out that I am by no means an artist. My attempted characters always looked more like potatoes than anything else.

My stomach grumbles and I pull my knees closer to my chest on the sofa I'm sitting on, a huge pile of pillows and blankets all neatly folded sitting around me, with exception of the beige one that is currently embracing my shivering and curled up frame. The TV is silently playing in the background and the curtains are pulled close to shut me off from the outside world, no outside light brightening up the dark room that matched my dark thoughts.

No one would understand why I am doing what I'm doing right now, but no one would understand the fear roaring inside me either. The constant reminder that what was in the past could repeat itself again, the ugly scenarios I thought I was over, all coming back to me, haunting me in a constant circle of anxiety.

All the pain, the torture and hurt over weighting my urges to eat or communicate by far, resulting in complete isolation from everything that could possibly harm me in whichever way possible.

I reluctantly reach over to the coffee table picking up my turned off phone, before retreating my arm back inside the ball of a blanket in need of warmth. As soon as I turn on the device it starts to vibrate in my hands, tons of missed calls and messages popping up on the screen.

I ignore all of them and instead directly press on Charles contact information and hit the call button. Countless missed calls had been from him as well, no doubt, but I didn't bother with any of them because I had informed him beforehand that I was shutting my phone off and told him about the situation. He had been shocked at first and offered to talk with Mario after he had previously assured me that I didn't need to worry too much when I had called him that Saturday noon two weeks ago, but the least I needed was Mario knowing about my past and condition. There was no guarantee he would leave me alone afterwards and not persuade me even further instead.

The device rings a few times in my impatient hand before Charles picks up with a relieved sigh,

"Zale! How are you?!"

I can hear the worry and relief in his voice and just roll my eyes at his motherly instincts. If he were a woman he would make the perfect overprotective mother.

A small smile crosses my face at the welcomed warm thought the little spark of light warming my dark mind and I shift slightly on the couch into a more comfortable position.

"I'm still alive I guess" I state, the sassy remark not holding the intended humor in the situation I was in, "but I ran out of groceries and can't go out. Could you uh- ... maybe.. bring some over?" I reluctantly ask my best friend, embarrassed. I hate depending on other people like that, I'm clearly old enough to live on my own and asking him to go out of his way, just for some grocery shopping is not pleasant at all.

"Of course, oh god! Could you just sent me a list of things you need?" Charles immediately reassures me from the other end of the line, rustling in the background with what I could only assume to be some paper and a pencil.

I think about it for a second before I chuckle sadly and answer "I'm out of absolutely everything dude"

"Have you gone shopping even once unicorn?" is Charles conflicted and defeated reply.

"No, my rainbow jet-pack broke and I couldn't fly my sexy ass over there, can you believe it?!" I mimick into the device a real appreciating smile forming on my lips. It's been too long since I talked to Charles and I definitely need that dose of sarcasm now.

_______________________________

This is soooo short!

And I'm truly sorry about that but I barely have any free time at the moment

and I'm already trying to write whenever possible.

Hope you can put up with my busy ass for a bit longer :c♥