Changing ❦ H.S ❦

Chapter 1

[[AN; First few chapters are going to be a little messy. Please excuse anything that isn't literately correct. I'll go through everything after and fix them. Anyways! Hope you enjoy ^-^]]

❦ H

'I didn't choose to spend the rest of my life like this. A long, miserable, aimless, solitude styled life. I didn't have a choice. But you get use to it; shuffling around halls directionless, running into faces you've never seen before, unable to talk to anyone. Literally, no one left in this mental jailhouse has the brains to fucking talk. Once again, literally, our brains now are just a grey mush bobbing around inside our skulls, useless to our everyday lives; if you even want to call what is now 'Life'.

Sometimes I like to image what life was like when everything was alive. Based on my black, skinny-jeans that are torn at the knees, once-were-clean, black dress shoes, and torn blue flannel I would say I was the casual teen. L, the only other person that I can actually have a conversation with; mumbling and groaning one-syllable words in which both of us could understand, says that I'm a 'Lady Killer'. Now for me I could take that a lot of ways, but I always took it the way L was implying to. He always says he's being honest when he tells me that the mess of brown curly hair on my head is something that everyone adores over. He tells me that even though I'm dead, if I cleaned myself up I could pass for a handsome teen. At least I think I'm a teen, I can't remember how old I am. Heck! I can't even remember my own name! All I know is that it started with an 'H', and from there your guess is as good as mine on what my past was like and who I am.

❦

It was yet another casual day wondering around the Rehab Resort, a quiet pore one if I say so myself. I'm sitting on the edge of what I think was once a pool, its water has drained and now inside lays countless of decaying bodies. Idiots walked in and couldn't find their damn way out. God I hate my life. What am I saying?! This isn't Life. I'm a fucking walking corpse for crying out loud! At least I still look human, other than the fact my once emerald greens are now a dull and faded mustard color and my skin is almost as grey as the cement floor I'm sitting on. There's no blood running through me, my veins have dried up unable to be used seeing my heart is now just a dormant organ slowly rotting inside my chest.

I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt a hand roughly grasp my shoulder. I noticed the bird on the forearm and right away recognized the ink; it was L. With a grunt, I accepted his presence and he took a seat next to me. My gaze focuses on the mans complication; wispy hair, slight stubble around his jaw line, chin and around his lips. His eyes a sun-dried blue almost grey. Skin just like mine. By the choice of clothes he was wearing, I could say he was an average boy just like me. But what confused me the most is why we are both homed in a Rehab complex. What did we do? What happen to us? There are so many possibilities, but my memory is flushed clean from my brain and I can't remember.

A grunt followed by a nudge to my shoulder, once again pulled my out of my running thoughts. I didn't realize I was still staring at the boy and I quickly dropped my gaze. I felt a palm pat my back, rubbing small circles; he was trying to comfort me knowing I wasn't okay. I liked having L around. Even though we couldn't talk to each other, he knows when I'm upset and he always knows how to cheer me up. L and I never go anywhere without each other, we may loose one other but somehow we always find a way back.

I pushed myself to my feet and gazed down at L before patting my clumsy palm against his shoulder then leaving his side to go 'home'. Home for me was an abandoned tour buss. Why was a tour buss at a Rehab Resort? I don't know, but it is and I made a home out of it. The walk was pretty far, but I liked being away from the other's. I had my own personal time to be alone and not have to worry about anything.

The last thing I remember was waking up from one of the seats in the buss. There were others aboard the buss as well. Two other boys actually, all that seemed around my age. But their bodies were mangled and they clearly weren't coming back. I didn't think anything of it though. I didn't know who they were so I ignored the fact that they were there. I ended up disposing their bodies outside the vehicle and leaving them there to decay. I felt bad, but they were already dead so I couldn't really help them.

Carelessly, I through myself onto the tattered sofa and gazed around the mobile home. There was a organized collection of random items around the space. From old records to photo's to key chains. I liked to collect things, I guess you could say I'm a hoarder. All these things were my alive. I felt different from all the other corpse, but it was a good different. Only L understands how I feel. That doesn't mean he agree's with me, which he doesn't, but he was a good friend and knew that this was who I was.

There was nothing for me to do other than stare aimlessly. Daylight was falling and the darkness of night was cascading over us. I wish I could sleep, dream even. But my body didn't function that way.